Reunions

Brit, Me, Joy, Chrissy, ?? and Erica at 10th reunion back in '06

I went to my 10 year high school reunion.  (Back in 2006, God I'm old).  And I remember that my BFF Brit and I had built it up so much in our head of how much fun it would be that it didn't live up to the hype in our head.  It was still fun, but a bit of a let down after imagining it different.  Yes, we talked to some people we hadn't in years but for the most part - with Facebook and Myspace...I kind of knew a little of what was going on with the people I had been friends with.  And please, I'm still super close with my four best HS friends (they were all my bridesmaids).

My Parents used to joke that HS reunions were funny because at the 10 year - every one is trying to brag.  Like "Look how great my life is"; talking about jobs, marriage, and kids.  Well in 2006 I had no kids (obviously) and no husband (not even a steady boyfriend).  So I was thankful I had my awesome job of working in television to talk about.  And moving around the country for it, while many had stayed in our hometown.  My parent's claim the 20 year reunion no one is bragging anymore, it's really time to reminisce on old time, reflex how old you've gotten etc.  My husband skipped his 20th reunion (as it was the same summer as our wedding and we were a bit busy).  He said he didn't care.  (*Yep, I married a guy that graduated HS at the age of 17 in 1989...six years older than me but seven years of school older).   My 20th is still four years away but I bet I'll go.  But I'll keep my expectations low this time.

My last post was about Ma Higgins passing away and yesterday was her memorial "Irish Wake" (ie it was held at a bar of a country club so we could all sit around drinking, eating, and talking.)  And in a way it was a 10 year reunion of college!  Granted I graduated from college 12 years ago, but there were six of us there that all lived on the same floor in the dorms together: Tuttle, Hamlet (aka the Erin's), Raechel, Abby, Me and  Kim.  Kim was of course busy most of the time since it was for her mother but I did finally get to meet her two little kids Guillian (3) and Sean (18 mons).  But for the most part it was the other five of us sitting around talking.  And the talk was totally 10 year reunion fare:  Jobs, Husbands, Kids.  And this reunion I had the husband, but not the kids or the cool job.  Eh, it is amazing what time will do.  I didn't care so much (aside from the typical heartache of an IF'er listening to fun talk of children's antics wishing they were my stories and wondering "will they ever be?").  It was just so nice to see them again.  Tuttle and Raechel, I had not seen in four years.  Hamlet & Abby, I had not seen since 2000.  Finally at the last 45 minutes it turned more to the 20 year reunion type talk of "remember this party?"  and "Who was it that stole that sign with us?"  There were many laughs that last hour.  It's too bad it was a two hour drive so we all left after being together for about 3 hours.  But we agreed the next time Kim was in Wisconsin (She lives in California now after having spent 3 years in Germany) that we should have a reunion not at a funeral.  And maybe get a few more of the old crew together.

Kim, Raechel, Tina, Tuttle, Me and Simon - Oct 98 "Up North"

But it made me realize, yes - facebook is good for learning the simple things... Like I knew that Hamlet had three little kids and worked at an after school program for kids.  But nothing compares to actual face to face stories like hearing her tell about how her 3 year old son has learned with morning wood how to make it move.  We were drinking beer laughing so hard when she told us he was like "no mommy, don't put my clothes on, look how strong it is!"  This would be inappropriate for FB, but for a convo over drinks? Funny!  And when we were commenting on how pretty Kim's Brother's Wife was it came out that three out of the five of us, at one point or another, had made out with Chris. LOL.

Last time Me, Raechel, Kim & Tuttle were together. Summer 2008

These are the people that I spent three years of my life with. (I transferred in as a sophomore).  And sadly, with all the drinking - in many ways, that part of my life is more of a blur than any other time in my life.  It's great to have us together to put some pieces together, or bring back a memory you forgot was hidden in your mind.  And this is why I like that I started my "Turn back time" posts.  Sometimes we're too busy with the moments of current life to look back and remember all the fun we've had.  On the way home I heard Toby Keith's song "Sixteen hundred and Fifty Two Beers Ago" and couldn't help but laugh at how appropriate that song was for the memories.  I'm just sorry none of us thought to take a picture of all of us together again.

Turn Back Time Tuesday: Remembering Ma Higgins

I found out late last night that a friend passed away unexpectedly.  But she wasn't an ordinary friend.  She was a surrogate mom.  Ever have one of those?  I have had two.  My BFF's Brit and Lauren's mom is one.  I've known her since I was about 15.  This, however, is Ma Higgins.  Ma was my college roommate Kim's mother.  And she wasn't like any other mom I'd ever met.
She'd had Chris and Kim when she was young, so when I was 19 and met her the first day Kim and I moved in together at Whitewater fifteen years ago, I think she was 40.  Maybe 41.  And they were from a "good old" Wisconsin town where it was a unwritten rule that if you had a parent with you, you could drink underage.  (Gotta just love Wisconsin).  Kim's parents were divorced from when she was little, and Ma loved to have us come back to town on the weekend, and go out and party with her.  And she was happy to have a housefull (I'm talking 15-20 of us) come and have a party at her house.  She always said she knew college kids were going to drink, better to have us under her roof where she could watch out for us, keep us from driving, etc.
Kim and I lived together the entire 3 years we went to Whitewater together.  And when I graduated, I still came to visit at least twice a year.  When I moved to West Virginia, I even made a special trip down to NC to see a Nascar Race to meet up with the Higgins clan (and I hate Nascar).  But it was a chance to see my friends.  And I considered Ma a friend, not just my friend's mother.  We exchanged cards and Christmas presents until only a few years ago.  She was the biggest Packer fan I ever knew.  Her entire bathroom was decorated in Packer gear.  So when working at the TV station in Wisconsin, when I got my hands on two great (copy written - ssshhhh!) pics of inside the locker room with Brett Farve, I copied them, printed them out on 5x7 and mailed them to her.  Along with an autograph of Donald Driver I scored for her.  Small tokens to show my appreciation, but to her - coveted Fan pieces to brag to everyone that her "Miss Kati" got her.
In the past few years, with her moving to NC and not able to make it to our wedding.  Our friendship had been relegated to Facebook.  As sadly, most old friends not near by do. Last year she had volunteered and spent a month as a nurse helping victims of the earthquake in Haiti.  And was trying to get enough money to go back. She has such a big heart.  But a month ago she had left a message on my wall about soon moving back to Wisconsin.  And I truly thought I'd see her again in the next year.  I learned of her death, from Kim, in a facebook message.  Which, I understand.  Poor Kimmy had to have called tons of people to let them know personally...but wanted to let the rest of us know soon too.
I find myself today thinking of her constantly, and tearing up.  She was only 55 or 56.  This past weekend had gone to see Kenney Chesney and Tim McGraw in concert.  Was full of vibrant energy.  I don't know how she passed away yet, but I worry....  I know in recent years Kim said Ma seemed to be drinking a bit too much, and seemed to be depressed (although she always outwardly showed happiness and spunk).  And I know on Sunday she had complained of 106 degrees temps in Charlotte.
So my mind races, was it the heat?  Was it due to drinking?  I hope not.  I think that would weigh heavy on Kim's mind, like it was preventable some how.  I hope it was something quick, like a heart attack.  I hope she did not feel much pain, if any.  I hope she knew, how much she was loved.  But more than anything, I wish I could have one of those big bear hugs Ma was famous for.  And hear her tell me it's not true.

Above is a picture from Winter 1998/1999 at one of her house parties for us college kids.  All us girls are piled on the couch with her (second from right) as the boys are in the backround playing cards  (I'm on the far left since I set up the timer to take the pic of all of us).  Miss you Ma!