Turn Back Time Tuesday: Remembering Ma Higgins

I found out late last night that a friend passed away unexpectedly.  But she wasn't an ordinary friend.  She was a surrogate mom.  Ever have one of those?  I have had two.  My BFF's Brit and Lauren's mom is one.  I've known her since I was about 15.  This, however, is Ma Higgins.  Ma was my college roommate Kim's mother.  And she wasn't like any other mom I'd ever met.
She'd had Chris and Kim when she was young, so when I was 19 and met her the first day Kim and I moved in together at Whitewater fifteen years ago, I think she was 40.  Maybe 41.  And they were from a "good old" Wisconsin town where it was a unwritten rule that if you had a parent with you, you could drink underage.  (Gotta just love Wisconsin).  Kim's parents were divorced from when she was little, and Ma loved to have us come back to town on the weekend, and go out and party with her.  And she was happy to have a housefull (I'm talking 15-20 of us) come and have a party at her house.  She always said she knew college kids were going to drink, better to have us under her roof where she could watch out for us, keep us from driving, etc.
Kim and I lived together the entire 3 years we went to Whitewater together.  And when I graduated, I still came to visit at least twice a year.  When I moved to West Virginia, I even made a special trip down to NC to see a Nascar Race to meet up with the Higgins clan (and I hate Nascar).  But it was a chance to see my friends.  And I considered Ma a friend, not just my friend's mother.  We exchanged cards and Christmas presents until only a few years ago.  She was the biggest Packer fan I ever knew.  Her entire bathroom was decorated in Packer gear.  So when working at the TV station in Wisconsin, when I got my hands on two great (copy written - ssshhhh!) pics of inside the locker room with Brett Farve, I copied them, printed them out on 5x7 and mailed them to her.  Along with an autograph of Donald Driver I scored for her.  Small tokens to show my appreciation, but to her - coveted Fan pieces to brag to everyone that her "Miss Kati" got her.
In the past few years, with her moving to NC and not able to make it to our wedding.  Our friendship had been relegated to Facebook.  As sadly, most old friends not near by do. Last year she had volunteered and spent a month as a nurse helping victims of the earthquake in Haiti.  And was trying to get enough money to go back. She has such a big heart.  But a month ago she had left a message on my wall about soon moving back to Wisconsin.  And I truly thought I'd see her again in the next year.  I learned of her death, from Kim, in a facebook message.  Which, I understand.  Poor Kimmy had to have called tons of people to let them know personally...but wanted to let the rest of us know soon too.
I find myself today thinking of her constantly, and tearing up.  She was only 55 or 56.  This past weekend had gone to see Kenney Chesney and Tim McGraw in concert.  Was full of vibrant energy.  I don't know how she passed away yet, but I worry....  I know in recent years Kim said Ma seemed to be drinking a bit too much, and seemed to be depressed (although she always outwardly showed happiness and spunk).  And I know on Sunday she had complained of 106 degrees temps in Charlotte.
So my mind races, was it the heat?  Was it due to drinking?  I hope not.  I think that would weigh heavy on Kim's mind, like it was preventable some how.  I hope it was something quick, like a heart attack.  I hope she did not feel much pain, if any.  I hope she knew, how much she was loved.  But more than anything, I wish I could have one of those big bear hugs Ma was famous for.  And hear her tell me it's not true.

Above is a picture from Winter 1998/1999 at one of her house parties for us college kids.  All us girls are piled on the couch with her (second from right) as the boys are in the backround playing cards  (I'm on the far left since I set up the timer to take the pic of all of us).  Miss you Ma!