Still Me: Alaska Outfits planning 1 yr to 9 months out

So last two blogs I discussed discovering I had probably high anxiety and that the SSRI calmed my brain to almost flat zombie mode and that adding Wellbutrin brought me back to "me" but calmer. Below is an outfit I wore last year in Bar Harbor Maine that, OK maybe a bit cheesy but I am totally wearing that sweatshirt and jeans for sail away day departing Seattle. Look how happy I am a month before all the spinal surgery stuff happened.

The way I can really tell I'm back to me is my hobby/obsession is trip planning. And while we're two months out from GBNP, Kolob Canyon, Cedar Breaks etc I've already shifted brain to Alaskan cruise May 2027. To even the point of color pallete for trip (Forrest green, Navy Blue, Black, various Brown/Khaki, one orange plaid and Cream).

If you google what to wear on Alaskan cruise the biggest thing is layers and waterproof. So I started with buying waterproof hiking boots and am already breaking them in on cooler days this summer. And I'll wear them this fall on our hiking adventures. Got them on sale for $65.

Since I added a lot to my Amazon wish list early on; it allows me to buy over time and when things drop in price. So as to not just suddenly spend $300 on outfits. And a decent amouny will go on Christmas wishlist for others to buy for me (Mom, Brother, Hubs) but boots already aquired so only other big ticket-ish item is the 3 in 1 waterproof jacket with removable fleece and hood for $70 and a heated vest, both of which I'm buying. I'll leave the $10-$30 items for xmas. I chose green for the coat as it's different from the other winter coats I own and would work with all my outfits.

All advice is base layer, mid layer, 3rd layer optional and then waterproof coat so here's the planning and still fit everything in a carry on bag and backpack. Below is the gray sweater (already own) I plan to wear for a nice dinner and walking around Victoria, British Colombia on last night of our cruise.

I had read/seen vlogs that morino wool is a great base layer plus added bonus doesn't keep smells like cotton so can be worn more than once so I'll have 4 that in a 7 day cruise/9 day trip could each be worn twice. Grey, Black, Chocolate brown,and oatmeal cream. They also say it can get warmer than you think so to also have short sleeve so I'm taking my mocha and black hiking shirts as they are super thin and take up almost no room in suitcase and literally work with almost every outfit and navy T as there are 3 outfits this could go under. 3 fleece lined legging (black, grey and brown) and a pair of jeans for bottoms. The leggings will be worn twice each and jean 3x. Three button up tops (navy plaid, orange plaid, and black waffel top I own), two sweatshirts (both navy I already own), and 3 sweaters (black cardigan, grey with black flowers and a solid cream waffle pattern) and one silky cute top that can look good alone in leggings or under cardigan for specialty dining rounds out the tops. The only things that are not solid colors are the two plaid tops. The blue I will wear with gray and the orange with black or brown legging.

Rounding out my optional extra layer is firstly the green fleece that comes with the coat, and a navy blue fleece vest (I already own it, it's my fav color) and a battery heated vest in black because that's a perfect universal outfit color and I honestly was wanting to buy it last year for polar vortex days in Chicagoland but felt silly spending that on a vest but this is the perfect excuse.

And last but not least new hat and scarf for warmth and cuteness. I am not a fashion plate by any means as I am a classic non flashy kind of gal. But I do love it when a plan comes together and so many crossable outfits combos and know that nothing is not a 'I'll wear this alot'.

The only other shoes I will bring aside from the hiking boots is a black pair of slip on sketchers with no show socks that kind of look like flats. This is for specialty dining nights where I'll be looking a little nicer. I keep going back and forth over if I should bring black slacks or a dress as we have 3 specialty dinners but I've read Alaska is more laid back so I will only do this if there is room in the suit case. Swim suit for hot tub time and binoculars are cruise must haves that also need to fit.

When you don't realize how bad your anxiety is...

So not until I was in early 40s did it even enter my radar that I might have anxiety. And it was a short reel from a comedian that made me realize it. But until this past fall I thought it was fairly mild, and in hindsight it was probably mid range. And I probably thought it was mild because it turns out I'm friends or related to or work with several others who have anxiety that when talking so many could relate to how I always thought thru worst case scenarios or like to plan and research everything. Only my boss saying, it sounds exhausting with how much you think about everything did it really occur to me that not everyone thinks this way. Then the spinal surgery just kicked it into massive high gear constantly. I didn't have intrusive thoughts before. Hell, I didn't even really fully understand what intrusive thoughts were until the month in pain leading up to the surgery. I had never thought of un-aliving myself but in that state of pain before meeting the surgeon when not sure what was wrong I did think; I can understand after time how someone could get to that point. And that scared me. There have only been two times in my life when I feel I was what could be classified as clinically depressed- final semester of college facing the uncertainty of life ahead and Mid Oct to Mid December this past fall dealing with the pain and surgery. Funnily both times I reached out with kind of a brush off. In college I called the health center for an appointment for mental health and they said they couldn't get me in for two months so I said forget it! and hung up. In December my PCP said it was situational and to just go for walks. No follow up. With the last few months suddenly crying for no reason (except to find out it's probably PMDD see pervious blog) I was even like, but my life is great. The pain has gone, I have bone growth at fusion (which was a massive worry last six months). This is clearly hormonal due to perimenopause. Because I have no reason to be depressed. But I suddenly felt out of control of my own self that it felt like a sudden deep downward spiral. But when PA prescribed prozac I still took 3 days researching it before accepting the idea of it. I had so many signs of PMDD and people eased fears as they were all on SSRIs that I was like 'wow, it's so many more friends than I thought. So this is why so many confirm my thought process - we anxiety people seem to find each other.' What I did not expect was how anxiety presented itself in me. The first night as I went to bed I lay there suddenly realizing I had no thoughts in my head. which then freaked me out a bit. So I was like "where did all my thoughts go? Can I still think? Pull up a memory - Rome, walking around with Jeff. Yep it's all there. Now think of something in the future you need to plan - Alaskan cruise. list of ports. activities. OK. I can come up with thoughts if I put my mind to it." Stopped thinking, and fell asleep almost instantly. Next day I said to Jeff, you know for falling asleep you've said 'just turn off your brain' and I'm like "my brain doesn't work that way"? Now I finally know what you mean. I came up with an analogy of my mind being a ballroom. And there are couples dancing all around me, and each couple is a thought. The room is wall to wall couples dancing and they each draw my attention for a moment until another couple catches my eye. And sometimes I have the couple repeat a dance move over and over with a spot light on them. But in his ballroom (brain) he is alone in the ballroom and can call a couple (thought) to dance for him. But he can also just say "tun off the lights, thats all for today." What?! And so because of suddenly not catastrophfizing or ruminating or having a billion thoughts all swirling around my brain (aka anxiety) I have had to get used to my brain being so quiet comparatively that for the first few weeks it just felt kind of blank. Empty headed. Stepford wives kind of robot almost. But so less anxious and best sleep in years. When out with two friends, one on an SSRI and one not and I described this analogy the one on the SSRI nodded as if yes, that is exactly it. And the other seemed to have a light bulb moment of "not everyone's brains is full of swirling thoughts all the time?" like without saying iut loud Do I have undiagnosed anxiety too? The last week I explained to PA as a follow up this feeling (and others). She also said my analogy was great. And we added Webutrin and I feel my thoughts are coming back at a normal healthy level. I feel like me. Not zombie me. But not highly anxious me. I went out last night and had such a light, fun night. It's hard to explain but like I hadn't been that chill in two or three years. When things build little by little by little, you don't realize how much weight you've had on your shoulders until it's all lifted off. I am a fluffy white cloud drifting along; instead of a dark rain soaked storm I had not noticed I had become.

Perimenopause thoughts and newly PMDD?

I have two bosses at work, one directly above me that is 5 yrs younger and one above her that is 13 yrs older than me. Because I wish there had been more warning, I am sharing (over sharing?) everything with younger boss so she knows what may lay ahead. I'm like the ghost of Christmas future telling her the horrors LOL. And am very thankful that older boss understands and says things like "we need to give you space for grace during this phase of life." So lets look back at the last five years so far shall we? It was exactly 5 years ago, summer of 2021 as a 43 year old that I had my first what I considered then, really late period. By two weeks (oh how naive). I took two pregnancy tests and thought "If I went thru six years of infertility treatment only to accept CFNBC and then get naturally pregnant at *this* age God has a cruel sense of humor." Jokes on me. that was the start. So the first two and a half years was just wonky cycles, swinging from 16 days to 45ish. And *maybe* ever so slightly moodier so I thought, I can totally handle this. The Jan of 2024 the hot flashes started. but just one or two a day and it was winter so I'd just step out into the Chicago cold. and after two or three months they seemed to stop. Oh that's it? Silly girl! March 2024 is when the rage kicked in. OK, instead of hot flashes now I want to kill two coworkers, one for constantly clearing her throat, another for constantly complaining things she could do something about. I tell myself it's just chemicals in my brain, this didn't bother me before so just get up and walk away before saying something you'll regret. After about 5 months the rage seems to have subsided but now my cycles are anywhere from 12 days (ugh!) to 50 so really eratic. But the second half of 24 seems fairly smooth sailing. 2025 the hot flashes are back but not as extream feeling, yet more often. so instead of one or two intense it's up to 8 a day but easier. And now my skin is getting ichy and dry. And I seem to often go 2-3 days without a bowel movement. I buy some fiber gummies which smooth that out. Lotion up a lot more. Cycles in 2025 are now 20 to 60 days and I've read after a 60 day cycle you're now in late peri. Part of me thinks "Yay, it's almost over!" but my brain also thinks - if it took almost 4 yrs to get here do I have ANOTHER 4 YEARS?!? November 25 I have spinal surgery (tons of previous blogs on this) and apparently that can kick off something I was not in any way prepared for. Possible PMDD. Now I think I mentioned in a previous blog that at my physical in December I told my doc I thought I was depressed and she said she thought it was situational due to surgery and being stuck at home. Well next day got period. This becomes a trend. But then my next period is not for 72 days so hard to notice a "trend". I'm back to work for over six weeks and I cry at work on a day in early Feb. I am NOT a crier. Especially not in front of others. WTF is going on? Oh, period hits next day. Start to talk about needing HRT with coworkers. I have always had easy periods. not really emotional, barely any cramps, light flow. Next period is 57 days later but I am on vaca for last day in Vegas and home for a weekend, so low stress. *But* this is the first time I experience what is termed as "flooding", look it up as it scared me a bit that Saturday. Had two full periods worth of blood in one day when I've been a very light flow gal for a decade. Next period is right at 29 days, but the three days proceeding it I cannot stop crying for no reason, have extream anxiety and feel like I suck and everyone hates me. I have never felt this down and it scares me. Also raging at younger boss after two days of crying at work when she says "at least it's Friday" and I snap back with "Who gives a fuck if you're in hell if it's a Friday or a Tuesday?!"😳 So much for telling my brin it's just chemicals and to keep your mouth shut. Thankfully after crying at work on Wednesday I called MD office and had appointment Friday. Cried to PA who brought up possible PMDD caused by surgery. Since I am a smoker, no HRT for me due to bloodclot, heart attack and stroke risks. So there's nothing you can do?! I cry in despair. She says prozac. This freaks me out immediately. But I spend the next 3 days talking to friends and researching. Turns out even my best friend without my knowledge is on lexapro; another SSRI. And for PMDD specificly Prozac is the first line of defense. And one of my main concerns was I read you should not drink on it. yet BFF, brother and 3 coworkers who are all on various SSRIs were all like "pfft, yes you can - just not a lot. And you might not feel great the next day if you drink like 4 or more drinks" OK, that's a rarity so I start that Tuesday June 2nd. Now I will say day one I took it at 630am and from 915 to 1045am I felt so jittery that it w a s like an IV main lining coffee. Read perhaps I should cut back on caffeine while on it. Cut back to just one cup of coffee and two pops that day and next. Day 3 forgot and have felt fine ever since with my normal caffeine intake. First two weeks I feel great! I had also started taking magnesium 90 mins before bed. I sleep through the night! This has not happened since I was like 40 (I'm 48). I just assumed as a woman you get to a certain age and you have to wake up and pee around 3am. Nope. Have not a single time in the last six weeks. I do not know if that's thanks to prozac, magnesium or a combo but OMG this has been the nicest, deepest sleep of my life. And things I kinda knew but hadn't fully realized were effecting me that much - like motivation. I had no problem with finding the motivation and energy for dishes and laundry etc. since starting prozac. I am going to make a whole other post soon about realizing what I always thought of as mild anxiety, was probably large. And how much better that is. But day 15 on med, I had another cry day (Ok 36 hrs) follwed two days later with period of just a single day of flooding again (cycle day 59). And then day 21 of med, I had a fight or flight day when I felt like something bad was gonna happen, I just didn't know what. I spent the whole day with my shoulders up around my ears in tension. So at 5 wk follow up told PA about those plus the sexual side effect of prozac can be inability to orgasm...I said, I can still cum but it's more like 'well that was lovely' instead of OMG! She decided to add Wellbutrin. So all this to say, the last 5 years have been a roller coaster. And since it just kept getting worse and worse, part of me wonders Jesus, What's next?! But every cryfest (except for the one that made me finally call a doc) has been a day or two prior to period. So PMDD seems right. But being five years into peri, when is it coming? No one knows. Last 9 months it's been as short as 26 days to as long as 72. So clearly it's lengthening. And my FSH basically says I'm menopausal. I guess I just have to wait between now (cycle day 30) and whenever next period decides to show up (possibly up to six weeks away) to see how this drug combo does next period. ETA a few factoids I forgot. Five years ago is also when my eyes took enough of a shit that trifocal contacts were needed and two years ago even that was too hard on my eyes/brain and had to start wearing readers. Three years since my hearing got so bad I got hearing aids. And the peri side effect of itchy ears is real and an extra torture if you have hearing aids in. But finally *and funny that I forgot it* BRAIN FOG. I thought it was bad last year but these last six months it has really stepped up. I forget mid sentence what I was going to say. I forget names of people and things. It feels like I'm headed straight to a demntia ward if not for reading alot that this is highly.common. And just what I found when googling that weekend before starting drug as I thought PA was a bit nutty for suggesting ACDF caused PMDD.

6 Months Post OP ACDF - Bone Growth

Because I can see how many people have viewed blogs...I know ones with ACDF in title have been viewed more. So I know some have found these when worried / researching what to expect or if what they're currently going thru is "normal". So I wanted to just jump on with a 6 month post op update. I was fully cleared from Spinal Surgeon two days ago. Since I started smoking again at 6 weeks post op I was very fearful I would not have signs of bone growth. I researched the hell out of Red Light therapy and did 8x a month from late Jan to present in hopes of helping with bone growth. When I specifically asked, he pointed at the xray and said bone growth looked "great. One solid unit" going from above fusion area to below. Said I had no worsening of areas above and below (AKA adjacent disc disease), my stenosis, arthritis etc all looked just as they were prior to surgery! Yay! Celebrated that night with a rare piece of cheese cake bought at store. Still get slight zapping nerve pain in left if bending over or leaning on left arm but 95% normal is so much better than constant pain so if this is life now, I'll take it. Sitting up straighter than I have my entire life LOL who knew moms were so right about sitting up straight? But laying down, I can sleep on either side as much as I want. I do get muscle spasms here and there but they only last mere seconds. And they are anywhere from neck side to upper back to upper arms. Maybe 3ish times a week? So I'll be sitting at work or at home and suddenly back of right upper arm twiches for 30 seconds. Just long enough to think, huh that's twitchy, then it stops. A few days later it will be a total different spot but same thing. In the past 3 months I've only had 4 days where muscles felt sore enough for a muscle relaxer at night. End of March, I did stop icing neck/upper back 3x a week because we went on vacation and I felt fine when we got back that I thought - oh, maybe I don't actually need it anymore and was doing it out of habit. But last two weeks I've felt a bit more sore that I'm back to icing here and there. Again- if this is life from now on...it's better than the alternative and not that much a burden on life. Otherwise life is totally back to normal (see earlier post today on all things vacation planning and hiking LOL to know I'm back to old me). Hope anyone that has read thru all the posts post-op can see there were times I was sure life would never be normal again. And while some recover quick, some a few months like me and yes some I have read some said it took a full 18 months (And the rare horror stories of never feeling better) that you can hit low points and work your way up. Try to stay positive.

Ever Evolving Travel Plans

So two blogs ago I said two things that have now changed. I said no planned nature side trips for Oct 2026 and that I didn't know if Great Basin National Park was worth it. Fairly soon after that posting, we decided to do it. The fall plan now is so packed, we're crazy! We will pick up car and head the 4 hours north to GBNP, stopping along the way for a gift shop at the edge of the Extraterrestrial Highway and hiking for 90 mins or so at Cathedral Gorge State Park before a few short (I'm talking .5 to one mile each) at the NP. I've reserved a little cabin nearby on AirB&B. The area is supposed to have some of the darkest skies of the lower 48 and we will be there a day before a new moon so only 2% moon lit; should be amazing. Next morning, we will do 3 mile Alpine Loop Trail and then Lehman Caves Tour. Then possibly drive thru Cedar Breaks National Monument area before the Kolob Canyons area of Zion we missed last fall for sunset. Final morning before Vegas, awake and arrive at Snow Canyon State Park for 1-2 hours of hiking at sunrise. Like I said, we're crazy. The other change, is we'll put off doing Banff for another time. Why? It's a bucket list wish I've had for a few years now? Because Mr. Juice threw out another idea that we just had to jump on because of our Diamond status with CET. We have now booked.... AN ALASKAN CRUISE! It is booked for mid May 2027. We're doing Haven on NCL again; because once you go bougie you cannot go back. Jeff's one request is a Helicopter ride to a glacier and mushing huskie sled dogs in Juneau. OK! So one day/night in Seattle and then 7 days aboard the NCL Encore (fitting name for our second cruise). How I will handle a full year day dreaming and researching this when in the two weeks since booking I feel I have already spent a third of my free time looking at stuff? I'll be so overloaded with all things Alaskan ports by then I may make my head implode.

Two women have questioned him on if I really want to do this. Why are so many ladies beach girls that they can't imagine that others are not? You give me the combo of water, mountains and pine trees and it's my idea of heaven. This is why Banff is so high on my list, Lake Tahoe is my favorite spot in the US and we talk about when we'll return to Yosemite someday. Beaches and sand barely peak any interest in me. Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed our trip to the Bahamas, but I do not daydream about future trips to a beach at all. Give me hikes among the trees looking over a rocky shore vista anyday!

JTNP / DVNP / Vegas Spring 2026

We did a day in Joshua Tree and a day in Death Valley before heading to Las Vegas this trip. Having never been to either I can say our impression of JTNP was meh but we were pleasantly surprised by DVNP.

The issue with JTNP was two fold. First, I changed my mind at 3am before hoping in car to airport to wear black shit kicker boots instead of my tried and true hiking boots. why? Because they matched my outfit. ugh. Started getting blisters because my feet were sliding around in them not wearing thick winter socks. By the time we hiked the Arch Rock/ Heart Rock trail I had four blister, one on each heel they size of a lime and one on each top covering from big toe to almost pinkie toe. So in other words, all but my toes and the center of my foot. I couldn't walk anymore after just 2 of six miles in. So we just went to viewpoints afterward. Secondly everything looks the same. Rocks and Joshua trees. We like more variety in our parks. Mountains, valleys, waterfalls, Spires, look this way WOW! Look that way OMG! IDK, it just didn't seem as grand or WOW packed as other parks. So after only 4 hrs we were fine to leave. a disappointing dinner followed. Not the restaurants fault, I just made poor choices.

Awoke really early so we headed out towards Death Valley over an hour before sunrise. First hour on the road we only saw maybe 5 cars bu the time we stopped at iconic Rt 66 Roy's Cafe for a smoke break at day break. Drove to Baker before stopping again for more coffee and bathroom where we encountered signs saying "special event, expect delays" on the road between Baker and Shashone. Stopped in Shashone for breakfast (great stop) and asked waitress what was going on? (Though clearly a race as port-o-johns and water stations every 10 miles or so made that evident) She said annual Baker to Vegas Relay. 120 miles run by teams of Law Enforcement. 🤯 We got ahead of it 30 mins before start apparently. It takes them all day and overnight!

Arriving into DVNP and around a curve - there was the super bloom I had been hoping for! A sea of yellow. What a sight! went around another bend and it looked as if people were walking on water (wish I had a picture). As it was people out in Lake Manly. We stopped, walked about 15 mins out to waters edge. Did a few more views; Devils golf course, artists pallete etc but my feet were still a disaster and it was now over 100 degrees (before noon last weekend in March!) so we headed to The Inn for drinks. Beautiful but pretentious AF.

Then over to The Ranch to check in and grab a nap. Back out and over to Inn for dinner followed by cocktails at Ranch's Last Kind Word Saloon. Night sky viewing from our rooms patio and off to sleep.

Awoke with enough time to catch sunrise at Mesquite Flat Sand Dunes and hit Zabriskie point before we headed off to Vegas, happy to have visited DVNP.

We got to Vegas, dropped off car and in Paris at 1030am Sunday. Shockingly Paris already had our room. Just a regular Burgundy King in main tower this time (Mr Juice has new host so a little disappointed no suite this time but it's fine). We each had our biggest wins of the trip in the first day, each just over $1300. We were pleased with new handpay limits meaning no taxes removed. Mine was on Buffalo Chief Platinum in Paris, Mr Juice's was in Cosmo on a Buffalo Revolution. Lunch at Beer Park. Dinner going to bed was grabbing Bobby's and eating half the burger & fries saving the other half. Table games were unkind this trip, but at least $5 Miss stud Sun/Mon/Tues. We only played $10 once on Wednesday before giving up. Only twice did we have time at them, others it was a fairly steady draining of our buy in. Once Mr Juice left table up ever so slightly in time it took me to lose $200.

We stayed hopping between PH, Cosmo, Bellagio, Horseshoe & Paris everyday except Tuesday when we did north end; RW, Encore/Wynn and southward. Some decent wins here and there between everywhere so that we didn't have any huge losing days but nothing as big as that first day. The funnys of the trip...on Monday after two or three Mimosas Mr Juice got me laughing so hard after an unlady like burp escaped my lips at the Cosmo and his jokes mocking me that I started crying I was laughing so much. But I think Cosmo only saw the aftermath of me wiping my eyes from crying that a slot attendant came over asking if I was OK all compassionate and caring looking. So then I was giving him a hard time they think he mistreats me.

Second funny was Tuesday morning. I came down in khaki capris at 6am and was playing a game when a security guard came over and was looking at me kind of funny. He then told me my pants blended with my skin color enough on camera that they thought I wasn't wearing pants! And he was sent to check it out. What?! LOL, that's a first! I thought I looked nice that day. Told him it's a hazard I guess for pasty white chicks. As a midwest girl coming out of winter, my skins is the color of uncooked chicken. So then we made jokes the rest of the trip about me Winnie the Poohing around the casino in my shirt no pants combo. Only meals of note were lunch per usual at Delmonico for the lobster bisque on Tuesday and dinner at Cheri Rooftop at Paris. I fear this will close soon as it didn't appear crowded at all and they text me an hour before reservation time saying our table was ready. We walked over to make sure there wasn't an issue with the reservation timing and her response was "no, we're just bored so thought if you wanted to eat early we'd let you know you could." And it turns out it's not one for my celebration dinner so oh well, we'll have to have two meals in October to use both Mr Juice & mine.

Final observations, there were so many families this trip with young kids for Spring Break. And I'm talking a bunch of under 10 yr olds out at 1130pm. Was a bit annoying as they were a lot being told to get out of casino area as parents played slots. Paris had about 25% of slots off changing them out Mon-Wed which was annoying during a 5x week but we did get to play new games Thursday before we left. We left town with about one day (20%) of gambling budget and each close or made Diamond Plus again. Town felt down still (aka 2025 levels, not 2023 busy but not dead). But after being in severe pain on October trip from needing (unbeknownst to me) urgent spinal surgery it was nice to have this trip where my biggest pain was blisters from hiking. When I went into my ACDF spinal surgery in November I was unsure if life would be "normal" afterwards. This was blissfully normal, and I wouldn't want it any other way.

2026 Travel Plans and thoughts already forming for 2027

 So the Vegas 2x a year we've done so far, were 2018, 2021, 2023, 2025 - none back to back until now.  2026 will be the second year.  Actually with Oct 2024, June & Oct 2025, and now April/Oct 2026 that will make 5 trips in a row. I love Vegas but for even me that's too much!  

So I have informed Mr Juice that we will NOT be doing Vegas in spring of 2027!  He reminded me that we had non-couole trips; he went on golf trips 2x a year both 2024 & 2025 and I went to Maine/Acadia plus trips to mom in OK so they are not back to back plus we've done the added nature side trips - Oct 2023 was Monument Valley, Page, North Rim GCNP (before it burned down 😥) and Oct 2025 was Zion and Bryce.  And we have this springs upcoming nature side trip.  But still 2027 will have a non Vegas couples trip! 

But that does indeed mean our travel plans are Vegas end of March/beginning of April and his annual Oct Birthday trip.  But for spring since the America the Beautiful pass is good until Sept 27th we are going to...

JOSHUA TREE NAT'L PARK & DEATH VALLEY NP!

I am hoping for a super bloom spring.  We have flights, hotels and car booked.  I have itinerary of hikes mapped out. About 6 miles a day in each. Where to be for sunrise or sunset.  Ideas for dinner spots.  It's all set. Woohoo! I got a scratchoff poster of all the National Parks with like 8? Maybe done so far so looking forward to two new ones!  

We have not talked of adding anything to October and honestly we've seen most everything driveable except I recently saw a vlog about Great Basin NP in Nevada.  Its a 4 hr drive North.  From first impressions doesn't seem worth it.  But I'll dig deeper to see if I change my mind.

But instead I've already jumped to 2027.  I want us to go to Banff for 4 days in June for our 18th anniversary.  It will be pricey because of stay in bucket list hotels but not even half the price of a gambling trip.  I've already watched vlogs and have a tentative itinerary (with space to add).  Since Mr. Juice doesn't not share my thought of such a thing as "too much Vegas" he's asked for a spring guys trip for golf. Knock yourself out.  As he has way more vacation days than me and those two will eat up much usual spring/summer trip budget there may not be anything else the first half of 2027 but ya never know.

Oct 2025 Vegas Trip Report

As copied from trip report on TripAdvisor  with added pictures and an edit here or there.

Sunday Oct 12, 2025 we checked in to Paris; this time trying out a Versailles tower Balcony room for the first time. View off balcony was Bellagio fountains, Caesar's and to the North. Window on other wall looked over the Highroller and Sphere. So yes the views were spectacular. Now for the negatives...the walk takes forever. Even if you're coming from Horseshoe side the elevator drops you at one end of Versailles tower and then you have to walk entire tower length to room. If coming from Paris side the zigzag hallway feels like the length of entire casino, then the added tower hallway walk. Next - we're used to our rooms at Paris having mini fridge and keurig coffee maker. These are not in Versailles suites. Third was the bass line from Ole Red would have kept us up if we were not sufficiently tired and or drunk. And finally the TVs don't have a sleep timer, are huge and after 4 hrs go to this repetitive zen channel. We're a couple that need to fall asleep to the tv but with no timer at some point after a REM cycle you awake to a bright room, people kayaking to plinky-plunking music that I swear is just a 30 second loop. First world complaints for sure but while we loved the view, you put all that together and it's a one and done for us. Back to Bordeaux tower suites for us.

Sunday we just stayed local center with Mr Juice being up and a few $500 slot hits and me losing fairly steady.

Monday we cabbed down south to MB and hit all MGM properties going northward but Park and MGM grand. Played two or three machines per properties. Classy breakfast of Krispy Kream donuts in the dirty castle while finishing up bloody mary's and mimosas.  

Again, Mr Juice was fairing better than I but I reminded myself we tend to take turns on who is winning and soon my turn would come. Linner up at Beer Park late afternoon and some $5 Mississippi Stud games at Horseshoe & Cromwell with no significant wins finished our 9 casino hop day.  

We each ended the day with a few hundred left of daily bankroll so not bad for a full 16 hr day of being degenerates. Which was surprising as MGM properties took most of my bankroll but Paris brought me back to almost even. I went up to bed with a quick but expensive hot dog from Ansel's in Paris walkway around 11pm leaving Mr Juice on the casino floor to play a few tables solo for two hours.

Tuesday we cabbed to RW by 7am. Hit Fountain Bleu, Encore, Wynn and Venetian over the next four hours. I was up a bit and pointed out if we play til 1130 we'd be at the right place at the right time for Delmonico's to open at 1130 pre fixe lunch. No brainer. 3rd trip hitting them up for lunch. Now, I had just been in Maine two weeks prior and had 3 different lobster meals but I swear to God no one makes a tastier lobster bisque. It lives in my dreams rent free. Add in a burbon cocktail and we were living our best Vegas lives.  

Mr juice informed me he was down to his last $240 for the day and for me to find something as he went to the restroom as we entered Harrah's. A $5 Miss Stud table called my name as I realized I would need to split my bankroll if we were going to last the rest of the day together. Dreams of my past 3x 4OAKs came to my mind. To my surprise when he came out he sat down putting his last $200 on the table and I thought "oh no, we might need to make an extra withdrawl today." Since I was not having much luck. To my surprise he hit a nice run on the table and he cashed out up $700 and me up $100. Yay! Day salvaged. 

Frozen Bailey desert to celebrate. But we still decided a mid day nap to help our bodies, livers and bankrolls were in order. Slept 90 mins and back down to Paris floor.  

Evening slots and tables left us both again with a few hundred left to start the next morning. 1030p up to bed with a dinner of a small pizza. Watched a fountain show and off to sleep.

Wednesday we again stayed central at our favorite four (Paris, PH, Cosmo & Bellagio). Mr Juice was propositioned by nine; count 'em NINE prostitutes between 5 and 630am when I arrived downstairs. He was happy I arrived so that they'd finally leave him alone. I joked you can tell the economy is down as that is a new record.  

Decided on a plan of mid morning brunch at Cheri rooftop since we enjoyed it last trip. Mr Juice got the blue crab omelet again but I tried the avocado crescent. He was again wowed but I was disappointed in my choice as the avocado was actually really cold guacamole and the egg was almost hard boiled. But nothing spoils the view and ambiance. Today was enough of a winning day for me that I was able to give Mr Juice almost a full days bankroll when he ran out of his by afternoon. 

But it was another nap day afternoon before heading to Caesar's for 745 dinner reservations at Amalfi for my Diamond celebration. I had looked at trying something new (Carmelo at PH or Bedford at Paris?) But reviews and menus made me know I just wanted tried and true knowing I will absolutely love my meal. 

Continued my winning all night long except for one losing Miss stud session enough that I gave me Mr Juice even more hundreds to start his early morning as we were tired and liquored up enough to go up to bed at 10p meaning he would be awake at 3am. He can never seem to sleep more than 5 hrs in Vegas me no more than 6 so we knew what was coming.

Last day quickly lost my $200 in Paris before needing today's bankroll and told him "we need to switch casinos to change my mojo". Off to Cosmo in search of specific games not available at Caesar's properties. Up $200 for me thanks to Heart Throb bonus, $300 up for Juice and off to Bellagio. In a "it worked in 2022 let me do it again" I used $10 in converted slot dollars with $100 of my own on Ghangis Khan at 10 cents, $2.50 spins and won $1100. Back to Paris to pack up room and breakfast at Alexxa's. Mr Juice said his host insisted this time - do not go check out, she would handle it all. It felt so weird not checking out and finishing bunch right at 1045am and charging it to room not knowing what has or would be comped. Not that it would change where we eat or what we order. Just knowing if we could still charge to room or not. But we checked his players card at 11am and all his reward credits were gone so we knew they always apply those first at check out before comping us. We're still awaiting the portfolio email to see if they comped everything else but tips (what has happened last few trips). But with how much he lost last three days LOL we figure that will be likely- except that usually they then add me to the room, and apply my resort credits and play to that figure as well so we'll see. I think I should contact his host and see if I can switch hosts so they know we're together. (Extra note now in Feb - everything but tips was comped. And for our upcoming trip the host did ask me for my player number to add me to room.)

After brunch I was obviously feeling rich so went back to my best winning machine in Paris - the new iteration of Moolah - Triple Blast. Burst all 3 Cow pots, rocked out to DJ Chicka Cow's "we want our cows back" remix getting 65 spins (day before I got over 200 spins winning $500) and this time won $300. Was playing it down to an even $400 when I hit the Unicow for first time ever. 

Surprisingly only popped two cows and won another $165. Over to karate sensei pheonix link to win another $200. Off the high limit champagne slots! Lost $200 but Mr Juice won on Autumn Moon and said "I wanna do something stupid" so sat at another high limit slot and I sat next to him playing $3.75 Huff and Even More Puff. Got golden buzzsaw for a super mega hat bonus. 8 mansions. Boom another $1100 win. Nice that my two biggest wins were just under taxing handpays. Had $2000 tucked in my purse and two hours til leaving for airport. 

Before deciding to make our last stand back in champagne slots. Between Mr Juice and I walked to cash out up another grand to tuck in secret purse pocket. We hadn't used the safe the whole trip and left for the airport feeling a bit nervous with over 3k on me. This does not make us up as a couple but if you take that plus what I gave over to hubs, I personally was up. We'll always take a trip home with any amount left from our entertainment gambling budget home as a win!

Extra note from Feb - I had tried to drink away the pain I was feeling all week.  And that didn't work and something was clearly wrong. I ended up on steroids, then narcotics, then ACDF surgery all within 3 weeks of returning home.  Then another month of pain killers and muscle relaxers I do not have a great recall of this trip on its own. But when I read what I wrote at the time I can remember each moment I talk about so I'm glad I wrote it immediately upon coming home for TA even if I did forget to post it here until now.

Zion/Bryce trip -We now return to our regular programming

 So because I had trouble formatting the first post about the lead up to ACDF surgery I had added photos of Zion, Bryce and Vegas from Oct since that was when the pain started.  But I never did a blog on the trip itself. Shame on me for focusing only on my spinal surgery and not memorializing my trip LOL. So here we go.

Zion -Friday Oct 10th, 2025 After flying into Vegas we made the 3ish hour drive over to Zion, checked into the lodge for our Western Cabin and immediately grabbed a park bus to the furthest Valley stop to do the Riverwalk to the Narrows. 

It's a mile walk, paved and only a little hilly here and there.  There had been a huge series of storms the day before, day of and next day expected and signs up that the Narrows was closed due to flash flooding but I am unsure how closely that's monitored by park staff during a government shutdown as we saw a few people heading back in from their trek. We had not planned to do the Narrows with our short stay but did keep glancing at the skies as it kept thundering.  Only a light drizzle hit us for about 2 mins. Was a lovely walk with great views of the river & closing in canyon. 

We then hoped the bus to next stop heading back down the valley and walked the very step but well maintained hill up to Weeping Rock which thankfully is short but a nice view. The Weeping Rock itself doesn't photograph well but the view looking out was worth the stop.

Back to the lodge to shower, clean ourselves up for dinner and walk from our cabin to the lodge for dinner. As one of the farthest cabins it's still only about a 7 min walk. Dinner was lovely, if memory serves I had a funky cocktail and rainbow trout with tricolored carrots and mashed potato. Jeff had some sw stew that was the special that he raved about. 

Saturday 10/11/25 - per usual us in PST we awoke super early, and the next round of storms had been pounding the area overnight so we were unsure not only if we'd go to Bryce but if we'd have to spend time indoors part of the day as the forecast called for 80% chance of afternoon rain. So to make the most of clear skies we headed into first bus at 7am before official sunrise to next stop at the grotto to start hike into Lower and Mid Emerald Pools.  My favorite of the whole trip! Obviously with days of rain including just 3 hrs before we got to the falls they were running strong and many people told us we were getting quite a sight as they hardly have such powerful waterfalls.  

Afterwards we had breakfast at the lodge as the trail comes out just across the street.  Then hopped the bus to court of the Patriarchs view, it's funny because while still gorgeous this is the most 'meh' bus stop of the stops. Few photos and back on bus to Canyon Junction Bridge stop. From here we walked the Pa'rus Trail until the historic museum. That's about a mile and a half stroll with gorgeous views of the river thru the valley and several passes over the river. Sadly with the government shutdown the museum was closed. Bused down to Visitors Center then back to cabin.  

It's only now 1045am! And without doing the two most renowned hikes (Narrows & Angels landing) we have now seen every stop and only box left to check off is the canyon overlook just past Mt Carmel tunnel.  It only took 3 hours Friday and 4 hrs Saturday.  Recheck the forecast.  Rain chance has now gone down to just 20%!  Bryce canyon side jaunt is back on! We will hit Overlook on way back.

Drive over to Bryce is almost 2 hrs so we get there at 1pm.  Stop at visitors center for bathroom break and map and head to one of the further viewpoints, Natural Arch Bridge which is 20 mins south. We then make our way back stopping at several views until we get to the amphitheater where we walked Sunset Point to Sunrise point and back to car. 3 hrs in park and a good taste for only walking 2 miles. Obviously if we had more time, we would have liked to walk Queens Garden or Navajo trail loop into the hoodoos or a little 1 mile waterfall walk that's a stop one mile further east past the main gate but time was limited, clouds rolled in and a storm was threatening (view from one viewpoint we were totally in a cloud and saw nothing 🤣). 

So back to Zion.  At 530 before we reached the Mt Carmel tunnel the parking anywhere within a mile of the short Cayon Overlook were jammed so alas had to skip. Another good dinner at lodge after two pre dinner drinks at the lodge Beer Garden and off to cabin to sleep before heading to Vegas.  Awoke around 3am in some of the most excruciating pain ever and if you have not read about that you can go to my first post in the ACDF spinal surgery saga for that tale. But a little better when rewoke after hubs got me ice, a short massage, and a 2 hr nap. On to road to Vegas by 530ish? I think I will post Vegas seperate as I always like to revisit Vegas trip reports. 

12 weeks post op

 So only one week left before I graduate from PT and we all agree I'm ready.  Only new exercise since last post is band in either hand and strech one way and then another in that if you took still photos it would look like a big X.  So one hand up above shoulder outstretched and other at opposite hip come together than switch direction.

No more crying since that one day at work since Jan 8th (today is the 31st).  But I have learned what position now makes things ache that I hadn't been in until the last week 3x.  If I'm in a low back chair, I tend to instead lean forward (onto Bar, table, whatever in in front of me) and as it's at a lower height this causes me to "sink" my head lower and shoulder blades kinda hunched up.  Ow! Like fucking ouch!  So need to remember good posture but yet 3x in 8 days...when will I remember? It makes my neck & shoulder muscles hurt then and following day so that's 6 out of last day but at least it's mild soreness.

I can lay on my left side even more but still certain positions or length of time I start getting nerve pain but hubs says I am doing it in my sleep and it's not waking me so doing it even more than I realize.  Tingling when bending over and reaching is the same but have not noticed it when I yawn.  But MAN is my scar itchy this week!

Can't think of any other update really.  Only iced once at work this week.  Still do at home about every other night. I think this will be my last surgery update unless something happens.  It's been quite the experience but fairly short in the big picture.  

10 wks post op ACDF Surgery

 Had a great past 10 days (so since the crying episode last Wednesday from 3-4pm). My PT even seemed surprised this Thursday when she asked how neck and back were feeling and I said 'decent. Pretty good.  Just slightly sore from new exercises from Tuesday (I'll get to them in a bit).  Had joked on Tuesday that I must be feeling better as I suddenly notice my other older pains again.  Right hip was hurting last Friday, some knee pain during week as it got colder, and my lumbar is back to being biggest pain every morning.  Thanks overall arthritis. 🤨 But he agreed with me that our bodies tend to notice the 'biggest' pain at the moment so it's finally back to what I had before all this ACDF stuff started.  

I've been dealing with knee arthritis for 10 yrs now, hips about 7 yrs and lumbar 2 yrs so this is nothing new.  Used the recumbent cycle twice this week to try and keep the knees and hips loose and twisties during my current PT exercises to try to help the lower back.  Wish I had written down those exercises so I could remember them.  Not doing bridges as feel that's bad for C7-T1 site right now.  Just sucks that for fusion I'm not allowed to take NSAIDs which is what my arthritis med is so just suffering thru but honestly it's not that bad yet.  I think it is because of the whole 'your brain gets used to higher levels of pain as you deal with them' prior to the neck/nerve pain I thought my lumbar pain was pretty intense even on the med.  Now I'm like "eh, sucks a bit but acceptable" without the med.  Imaging how nice it will feel once I can go back on drug.  Will have to remember to ask doc on Tuesday when that will be.  6 months? A year? 

Ok so to new exercises lay on stomach and raise shoulders to 'pinch' shoulder blades. Hold for 3 count. Relax.  I call it the Butterfly as I think if I didn't have arms but wings, this is how I'd move my wings.  Another is then still on stomach lay so arm lays over side and pretend I had a bar bell in hand, raising elbow until hand is level with hip and slowly bring back down. Be sure not to hunch shoulder. 10x then do other arm.  I said on Tuesday after doing these "wow, that's the hardest thing you've had me do yet!" He said I had advanced. Thursday my main PT was shocked I had moved to that.  Asked how it went. Said muscles were sore that night and next day but not unbearably so. (Did take a muscle relaxer that night because have learned not to try and be a hero. Don't need another cry session).

MD appt follow up is Tuesday one month after my 6 week check up that they added because it was on my worst day post op (full day of pain & crying because of the new left side nerve pain). Originally wasn't supposed to see doc until 3.5 months post op. But at such a better place now but wanted to keep appt as I do still have slight nerve pain on left and to ask questions. Like could maybe an added injection later help if still have it at the 3.5 month appt? Would that require another MRI? Is there a already planned MRI to check on fusion then already? If not, when do we look at that as I believe x ray can only see so much. Reminds me I'll copy & paste these questions to a note to reference at appt.  

9 weeks Post Op ACDF Surgery

 Ok so I won't be 9 weeks for two days.  But it's hard to figure the days now but gimme a sec...61 days. 

The big news this week is I worked a full 5 days.  Bad news is Wednesday afternoon last hour of work I cried from pain/emotions.  I wouldn't say the pain was *that* bad.  I mean, it was bad from whatever muscle manipulation PT the night before making my neck feel like I had bad whiplash add in turning my head for 8 hrs but it was more the emotions making me cry. Kept having irrational thoughts of what if I end up a cripple and hubs leaves me. What? I swear to effing God this is perimenopausal as I never had these kind of intrusive thoughts before. Ugh. I hate crying in public. I am not that girl.  And I just had tears rolling down cheeks back in my corner window cube. Not full on hysterical or sobbing.  Only someone saw and I think told on me so my boss was like "if you need to work half days..." and I'm like it's just a bad day.  And I was right.  Next day wasn't great but not as bad.  And that Thurs PT did something that helped. So I am pleased with myself for 5 days straight. After 9 weeks of not. Go me! Celebrate the wins.

Note to self in how wonderful Mr Juice has been. He heard in my voice at work how bad Wednesday was so he emptied the dishwasher and did the sink full of dishes I was dreading (without being asked). Then Friday took down the outside xmas lights. Both before I got home so I wouldn't even get a chance to beat him to it.  This man loves me and shows me in little tiny ways daily. Because I am probably pushing myself a bit too hard here and there to be back to my "normal".

Want to write down the new exercises since I've already forgotten many of my lumbar ones from 9 months ago.  Blue stretchy band.  Grab underhanded, shoulder width apart thumbs point outward. Strech band outward.  I call this the Fonzy stretch due to the thumbs even though they point away from body.  Aaaaayyy! Feel shoulder blades close in. Next close knot in band in doorway at head hight, pull bands down to mid thigh.  Next in door at hip height elbows bent, pull to hips again feeling shoulder blades squeeze. These along with the four on wall - snow angels, touchdown jesus Y's, long arm strech clap, and hip to wall full twist full arm claps in each direction.

In sleeping on side news (an odd barometer I know but I went from can't at all 4 weeks ago) to now I can sleep on right side for over an hour at a time and believe I'm that way a third of the night going from right side to back and right side again. Left side still aches if on it for more than 15-20 mins but thats up from 5 mins two weeks ago so, again - improvements.  Just takes much longer than I'd like. 

Still some nerve pain down left side.  Don't remember if I documented I notice it's mainly when leaning on that arm (brushing teeth, sitting on toilet)  or reaching to side or above head and oddly when I yawn. Right side nerve pain occasionally but less than left.  

Still burping a lot but not bile like I was week 2-4. Just never was a huge belcher before so it feels like it's all the time yet it's not enough for me to remember to take the pepcid much so I guess it's not so bad as I went thru that first bottle a lot.  

Smoking - while back at it now (started back at 1 a day 44 days post op) have kept it to 8-11 smokes a day as apposed to 30-35 pre surgery.  So at least in the week of saying fuck it, didn't go off the deep end and increase more. 

I think that's enough updates for now.  Still icing 2-3 times a day and heating pad much of the evenings.

54 days post op

 So I told PT that I stopped the one ear to shoulder exercise as it hurt too much and she said "oh the one you were making painful faces on eval day? Yeah. Ok. Stop it."  Didn't suggest anything else, or we'll work on that function later down in your recovery. Seemed odd compared to other times/places I've had PT but OK.  

First 3 days back at work.  Mon/Tues/Fri because of NYE and NYD holiday.  Turning my head all day long on my 3 monitors hurt enough followed by PT Monday & Tuesday that I took a muscle relaxer Monday night and I had iced twice at work that day.  Tuesday only iced one at work and no M.R. Friday I didn't think to ice until last hour of work day when I realized I was so achey that I wasn't sure I could turn my head for the last hour of work.  Next week is 5 days so I'm going to try to remember to ice mid day every day so that hopefully I don't get that feeling at hour 7-8.  

Tuesday I had a different PT person and when I mentioned the slight nerve pain in my left arm since starting PT at the very end of session he said "has anyone shown you the trick?" What trick? No!  Make your hand into the OK symbol pretending you're holding a small cup of tea. Swing your arm down behind your hip then up toward your mouth but 'dump the cup of tea' all over your chin & neck from like nose height. He said it's like flossing your teeth -It hurts at first like 'why am I doing this?' But starts to help.  IDK as I forgot about it the next day of some reason (I swear to god the 6 weeks of doing nothing during recovery, my brain started to atrophy LOL) so I have only done 20 reps a day the last two days.  

Sadly after cryfest back on Dec 23rd I had a smoke on car ride home from doctor after 6 weeks of no smoking. And started having one smoke a day that week.  That turned into 2-3 a day earlier this week.  And then got together with a friend drinking who is also a chainsmoker when drinking (like hubs and I get).  I ended up having 11 yesterday 😳. Now is that better than the 30-35 a day I had prior to surgery? And the 40-50 I would have in past drinking with this friend? Yes obviously but I know me. It's all downhill. I hope the 6 weeks I didn't smoke and the reduced smoking is enough to not fuck up the fusion of bone.  Anecdotally I've seen people on the group I joined on FB say they didn't quit at all and they fused. And I know 15% of non smokers don't fuse.  But the percent of smokers who don't fuse is like 50%. My surgeon wanted me not smoking for 3 months.  But I found on line some medical saying 4 weeks and I've found some that talk about 6 months.  I can't believe for my breast reduction 22 yrs ago I went almost 6 months before a night of drinking with my old college roommate ended that.  And that was just for nice healing & scars on my boobs.  This is my frickin spine.  Addiction sucks.  But back then I wasn't really around anyone that smoked until she showed up.  These 8 weeks I've been sitting right next to husband who is smoking two packs a day so a) I don't know what the second hand smoke has been doing to my healing and b) I'm kinda impressed that I made it this long with that temptation right next to me. 

The small dagger in my back pain has lessened a bit this past week but it does still feel like I have a this metal rod connecting my shoulder blades and a metal cage in between the should blades on my spine constricting movement a bit.