Hope in all forms welcome

So I went to my second "Bump" get together. It's a group of girls that have been on the website "the bump" sharing in the TTC journey - all just as long, if not longer, than myself. There were seven of us from Chicagoland, NW Indiana & Southern Wisconsin. Three of the seven are now pregnant and one will be doing egg retrieval and egg transfer this week. All very exciting! I was worried that it might be a little depressing to have almost half the group pregnant with all the recent trouble, but thankfully it was more a feeling of hope that filled me. A simple, yet obvious reminder that it does happen. Even for those of us diagnosed as "infertile".
I'm also much more hopeful now since my last post about the progesterone supplements. Day one it just felt like another failure, but now I see it as just another step forward toward the goal; a child.
It is the first full day of a new football season, so I will expect to hear Jeff yelling at the television for the next several months. He is feeling almost 90% better since his surgery and should be fully recovered in another two to three weeks. We have another month before we can find out if the vitamins from Fertility Blend have helped. Or the fruit for that matter...my mother read an article that said men should have fruit twice a day to help with motility issues so I've "suddenly" been buying fruit alot :P. I am excited to see if it's helped so that perhaps we will not need to move on to IUI's in the spring. Of course, getting pregnant would be the real confirmation. But having more "normal" numbers would help even more with that hope issue.

Another straw on the camels back

So today I had the 7dpo blood work to confirm that I'm ovulating and checking my progesterone levels to see if I can sustain a pregnancy. Anything above a 3 is considered ovulating, but they want it to be between 10 and 15 in order to getting pregnant and stay pregnant. Mine was an 8.5 so I've been given a prescription of progesterone to take each month after I ovulate. While I was sitting waiting for the prescription to be filled I had to listen to a baby cry. All I could think was, as if the universe wanted a physical soundtrack to my emotional pain, it provided me a soundtrack. I felt as sad as whatever was making that precious little baby unhappy, and I wanted to cry with her. But I know that this is just a little problem in the world of infertility so I really shouldn't complain. I take a pill, problem fixed. But after the MFI diagnosis it's just another issue keeping us from getting pregnant. Aarrgghhh!

But enough about me and my emotional pain. Poor Jeff is in actual physical pain today because he had his surgery for his umbilical hernia yesterday. It was laproscopic but he still have like six or seven half in cuts. I'm home today taking care of him. I wish there was something I could do aside from be a pill pusher and a cook to make him feel better, but I know only time can do that.

Jane get me off this crazy thing!!!

Yet again, it has happened. I got excited for a job that I thought was perfect for me, and I'd be perfect for. Thought for sure I had it in the bag and any day now I could quit Target. And yet... Nope! Rug was pulled out from under me again. Yes, they liked me. They think I'd fit in great . And clearly I'm qualified, but they don't think they have enough work to afford to bring me on staff at this time. Argh! "Maybe" in fourth quarter they can. I feel defeated. I feel beaten down. I feel exhausted. And it's no wonder. It's been 13 months people! This emotional roller coaster of being excited only to be let down again make it tougher to want to keep buying a ticket and stand in line.

I'm a bad blogger...

So it's been 20 days since my last post and the only thing that's really happened since then is Algonquin Founders Days. Jeff & I had to sleep in the RV down at the park Friday night and it rained 5 inches overnight. The park flooded and we walked thru the over-its-banks creek, (it was up to our mid-calfs), in order to get to our car. They had to cancel all activities in the park for Saturday and Sunday due to flooding. In the 50 years it's gone on, that's never happened! It was so sad to see all the board members faces. It was like they woke up Christmas morning only to hear Christmas was canceled. Months of planning, hours and hours of work down the tubes.
:( The parade & fireworks still happened and we enjoyed them as much as we could all while knowing that the lost revenue will hurt next years fest. We walked around before the fireworks to collect donations and I'm sure there will be other fund raisers to come. The after party is in three weeks at Kevin's and should be fun.

Vacation

We got back last week from vacation with Jeff's side of the family in North Carolina. I enjoyed our day trip to Savannah, GA the best. The history & architecture of historic downtown is so interesting! And the "Forrest Gump" stuff was, of course, awesome. Oh, and lunch at Paula Dean's? Please! Damn that woman can cook! Aside from that we saw Fort Sumtner where the civil war started and spent time chilling on the beach. Found out just how much Jeff is not a "beach" guy. And actually, I've always like on or two days laying by a pool but I too am not much of a beach person. I got really really sick the day we left with a stomach bug. Never do I want to have to be in the car for 11 hours when I'm that sick again. But now for a week it's been back to work and the daily grind. After the great interview before we left for vacation, I hope to be working at an ad agency in Huntley by months end and quit Target. Especially since my tennis elbow has come back and the doc recommends physical therapy and "finding a differant job". Ha! I hate it, so I have no problem with the recommendation, now if only it will work out!! Founders Days is in two weeks, so Jeff's busy with that. I'd like to be able to quit and have my last day be the day before the fest starts so I can enjoy those four days and then start at the new job. Fingers crossed!

Happy Anniversary!!!!

So one year ago today I married my best friend. It's been a wonderful day thinking back to that day and the laughs and memories! Jeff's parent's took us to Breakfast this morning and in half an hour we will going out for a romantic dinner for two at Cucina Bella, the little Italian restaurant on old Main Street downtown Algonquin. In some ways I can't believe that it's only a year. It seems like we've never been apart. In other ways it's like I can't believe it all went by so fast! It seems like only yesterday we were spending Sunday's watching Bridezilla and talking about what our wedding would be like.
This afternoon for "lunch" we pulled out the top of our cake and ate a slice (as is tradition and supposed to be good luck). Who ever came up with that? After being in the freezer for a year I would not say it's inedible but it's so dry!! Except for the buttercreame, nothing can kill buttercreame. After having our one slice I agreed with Jeff that there is no need to eat the rest of it.
Well, I'm off to go re-do my makeup before dinner. Happy Anniversary baby & here's to many many many more!

RE apt. set

So on Wednesday I set up our first RE appointment. It's set for Monday at 8:15am. Jeff took the day off in order to go with me. I'm scared but excited to at least hear what lies ahead. Scared of - what if we can't afford it right now? The paper work came today. Good Lord!! I've filled out over 10 pages and there is at least 6 more. Needed a break. This is a short post because game six of the Stanley Cup finals is on. Blackhawks are up 3-2 at the end of second period. Go Hawks!