I received a blog award this week from Sbrowns08 (AKA HappliyhomeSpun) over at The Pursuit of a Family!

Liebster is the German word for "beloved" or favorite. It is specifically designed for blogs with 200 followers or less. I am overjoyed that she nominated me last week.  And sorry that I've only now gotten around to post about it!  She is the writer of one of my beloved blogs that I have been following this past year.   Check out her page to read about her journey through IF,  starting IVF &  some ideas for staying green, being frugal, or crafty ideas(I'm so jealous she knows how to quilt!). 

I am to pass this on to blogs as well.  Well since Sbrowns already has it, there goes my first choice!  And she also picked Kathy4678 over at her blog which is another one I follow often...so I wanted to highlight these four lovely ladies I've gotten to know more through their blogs (after having "met" on the Bump's 3T.)  They are all at different spots in their journey with IF.

Erin (AKA ClukyE) at Our Jouney to Baby Negs (PG with her first after dealing with IF woohoo!!)
Brook at Invisible Finish Line (Currently breaking from TTC, thinking of living child free)
Scubagirl at Living with IF (Dealing with IF, recent IVF) <3 ((HUGS!!))
and
Hillary over at Wishing, Hoping, Praying (IF treatments on hold, looking to adopt from a birth mom who is 38 weeks PG)

Ladies,  I check your blogs weekly, if not daily, and am glad to be a part of your struggles, triumphs, hope & dreams.  You are "beloved" by the 3T community and me. 

A tour of me: through my Christmas tree

So today I put up our Christmas decorations around the house.  Jeff's family doesn't give each other ornaments like mine so all the stuff is from me; or what we've gotten since getting together.  As I have done since 1981 *when I got it for my 3rd Birthday*...I put on John Denver & The Muppet's Christmas Album (now on iTunes instead of the original record *yes record youngin's!*) and got out all of my ornaments.  I thought it a little sad that I am the only person that knows the stories that connect me to each of them.  My tree is filled with memories!  And every year I love taking the time to take each one out and remember.  So I decided to share some of my trip down memory lane with you, my sweet readers (the few of you out there). 
First off...let me tell you that I collect Penguin stuff.  The earliest penguin ornament I can find has the date of 1986 on it.  Which would make me nine years old.  This would make sense since I started liking penguins in 2nd grade ('84/'85) when I had to pick an animal to write a report on.  So I always take out every ornament and separate it into Penguin & non-Penguin so that I don't have them clustered all in one area of the tree.  I decided to take a pic of the assortment to give you an idea of how much I've accumulated over the 25 years. 

23 ornaments, two of my eight stuffed animals & 4 table top carvings.

Next, I took a picture of my very first ever ornament. I was born on December 18 - exactly one week before Christmas. In the hospital, they put on my bassinet: this Ginger Bread Man. On the back it has my birth stats. I always put this one on the tree first.



 
 
 

Next comes one of my favorite ornaments and it is special this year.  My third birthday I was all about the Muppets!  I got the album, a stuffed Kermit & Miss Piggy.  And this ornament.  I saw the new Muppet movie last week and teared up when Kermit was saying "I guess everyone's forgotten about us."  Because for me...I fall in love with them all over again every Christmas through their songs and this Miss Piggy Angel.  She always gets a spot closest to the top of the tree. 
 
I have one other that's places up towards the top and is my second fav from childhood.  1982's Eskimo icicle climber.  And one that I got in 2008, but reminds me of being a child of the 80's...it's Strawberry Shortcake!  And she even smells like the dolls did.  I place her at the easiest place for me to get a daily "whiff" because as I proclaimed to my parents when I opened her "She smells like my childhood!" 

The third picture is a Ginger Bread house; that has a funny story.  In German class in High School our junior year we had to make one with a partner.  My BFF Barb & I (aka Isle & Uli in German) made one that looked horrible!  We even put a little sign on the door saying "Isle & Uli's school for the retarded" on it. extra credit kids if you remember the Far Side cartoon that we stole this from!  My mother kept it and put it out at Christmas for five years.  Nasty.  We still laugh over how bad ours was!  My parents bought me this one a few years after we finally got my mother to throw the original away. 
 
And finally a few from the years of Jeff & I together!  This will be our 5th Christmas together.  Our families have each contributed to our tree now.  Our first "couple" ornament was from Jeff's sister the winter before we got married.  These two penguins with our names on it (note our last name is covered to protect the innocent!)

And last year, aside from our individual ornaments.  My parents got us a Blackhawk's hockey Patrick Kane with tickets to a game inside!  It was a clever gift & wonderful way to get it.  Now every year when I put up this ornament, I will remember my parent's thoughtfulness & the wonderful date night Jeff & I had seeing a game of our 2010 Stanley Cup winners! There are a hundred more like these but these are special to me. 

When we finally beat infertility, I plan to carry on my mother's tradition of giving an ornament every year.  And searching to find that perfect one to tell a story of what that child is into or doing that year.  And I cannot wait to see the ornament my mother picks out for me that first year I am a mother! 
I am very proud of the penguin ornament my 3T Bump Elf (FarmerLynda) bought for me (larger size penguin with green hat & scarf in top pic).  And I love what I picked out for my elf, I hope she'll love it too! And, like me, think of 3T every year she puts it on her tree!  But for now...the claymation Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer is on so I must go...and spend more memory time with my younger self.  This year I hope you all can locate your inner child & enjoy the holidays instead of letting IF get you down!  <3

An excercise in vanity?

Yes people I post this to make you laugh...and to laugh at myself! So this year, I've tried to come up with a few "homemade" gifts for various people in my life for Christmas to save a little extra cash.  Handmade ornaments for the gals, family trees for two others, but what to do about Jeff?  Well it's been brought up before the idea of boudoir pics (on the knot & the bump).  But could I do that for free with my little handheld camera, auto timer and home printer? 

Well it's my day off, it's raining outside, and Jeff just left for a work trip to Vegas.  No time like the present I guess!  What was I thinking?  Even though these are just for Jeff - I didn't want to do nudes.  A) he sees me naked enough. B) in case they are ever found by someone other than Jeff and C) What am I Hustler?! I don't think so!  So I curled my hair and put on make up.  Then picked two outfits. (LOL, yes I went all out). One white push up bra & thong.  The second "wardrobe change" was black corset and panties. 

I did a couple poses and shots to check on angle and lighting and then got down to being serious about it.  As it turns out - what I think is my "sexy face" looks pretty ridiculous to me when seen on computer!  I cannot believe my husband does not bust out laughing when I give him a look like this!!  Thank goodness I did more with just my natural smile and not my "come hither" look because I deleted all of those.  After one hour of preping and snapping...I am left with only three shots I am semi-happy with.  Sexy photos for husband? Epic Fail.  I hope you have enjoyed this laugh.  I now return you to your regular blog posting schedule. 

Any Given Day (baby pics inside)

Warning!  This post will be talking about my BFF's daughter born on Tuesday night and include pictures!  If you are dealing with infertility, and having a bad day, you might want to back out of this post.  If anyone understand what that's like it's me.  So I've warned you up front.....



Any given day, I can be full of hope, happiness and joy.  And any given day I can be filled with anger, sadness, and dispare.  It really depends on what I've gone through that day, that month, how something is presented to you, how you decide to react.  Case in point; all three of my closest friends were just recently pregnant at the same time.  When Barb told me this spring that she was pregnant, it was during my period of my first treatment cycle.  I was heart broken...for myself.  I cried because I wasn't pregnant.  When Brit told me late summer, I was happy!  I was at peace with being on a treatment break and had a good day.  When Lauren told me earlier this fall - I was almost numb.  It was like, one too many to hear that day.  But then I took a breath and got over it.  ((I have blog posts below that go over these in much more detail)).  But I will say one thing that doesn't matter the day - it's always a good day.  It's the day I go to meet the new little bundle once it's fought it's way into this world.  When you see a cute little face, knowing it's a part of your best friend you can't help but feel overjoyed and filled with love.  Barb's older daughter Sofia (two and a half) met us in the lobby of the hospital.  Hearing her little voice exclaim: Kati!  We're going to see the baby! She's my little sister!" was worth the price of admission.  But holding that new little girl? Priceless doesn't begin to describe it.  Obviously it does bring feelings & thoughts of "I wish I had one of these!" but at the same time - it's... you know it will be a billion times the love and happiness when it's your own child and just can't wait to experience that.  Hope.  That's all I can say.  Holding that little girl gave me hope.  Because deep down inside, I feel it with every fiber of my being that I will be a mom someday.  I cannot explain why I am so certian of it.  But I was meant to be a mom.  I was.  And I will be. 

So...without further ado.  Introducing Eva Mary B...(it's pronounced Ay-vah.  Her Mommy is Hungarian).

Eva & Me

Doesn't my man look awesome with a baby in his arms??

She joined this world at 9:25pm on 11/1/11 weighing in at 8.9lbs, 21.5 inches long.  Barb said that her contractions were 5 minutes apart around 6pm while making dinner.  They were at the hospital and had an epidural by 7:30 pm.  She pushed for five minutes from 9:20-9:25.  ((We should all be so lucky!  But Eva was 10 days late so I guess when she decided it was time, it was time!  They were going to induce at 8pm, but she wanted to come on her own terms). 



Sister Sofia giving Eva a kiss....I love how her cousin Michael & Aunt & Uncle are all saying "awwwww"

The Griffin's (Halloween)

This is the finished product.  I thought Jeff's pants were more "green" until he pulled them out and I was like...Oh, they are really just a greenish-khaki arent they?  And trying to attach the "balls like chin" was hard.  But the little Stewie Doll is what made the outfit.  I could only find a nerf football that was his head.  Then I had to buy a baby doll and cut off her head with a box knife & super glue the football on.  Then I made his red romper out of an old tank top of mine.  He came out so darn cute, and only 40 minutes to create.  I also made Jeff a "Vote Adam West for Quahog Mayor" button.  The orange hair was a pain!  That spray on stuff flakes off on everything! Any time I touched my hair, my hands were orange.  And my shirt.  And my coat, and Jeff's arm when he would put his arm around me.  Ack!  Some of the women at the party think I should dye my hair strawberry blonde. 

IF Responce worth keeping for the future

So we had (yet another) person come to my lovely home message board, Trouble Trying to Conceive (3T) talking about how they've been trying for "four months!!"And I wrote the following response.  Please note that since I have not figured out the simplest of copy and paste with e-blogger, I am re typing this and might add a little from original.

Four Months of trying? Hmmm, for me that was back in November of 2009! 

Talk to me when you've been trying for over two years.  When you've seen friends & co workers have not one baby, but are ready to pop out their second little one.  Talk to me when you are a whole year past "natural" remedies such as herbal teas, POM juice, pineapple cores, and the like.

Talk to me after you've had several doctors and nurses put a dildo shaped camera thrust into your ute, had a tube of your husband's sperm inserted past your cervix, or had your ovaries get an extra workout from hormones meds & shots in your stomach. 

Talk to me after you've spent a year explaining to people that infertility doesn't mean you are "broken" when family or friends who mean well are telling you to seek adoption or having someone else carry a child for you. 

Talk to me after you've had to save pennies here and there to afford your out of pocket infertility treatments, since most insurance companies feels making a family is a "want" and not medically needed.  (Yet somehow giving a senior aged man an erection is?!) 

Talk to me when you've had to put your treatments on hold due to financial reasons, miscarry, or have cysts that can cause you bodily harm.

Talk to me after you've gone through all of that, and then continue to see negative pregnancy tests for the 15th, 25th, or for me in a few days - the 32nd cycle in a row. 

Talk to me then.  Because until then, if you think we're all just a little nuts?  Well I don't give a rats ass!  And no, I don't need to take a deep breath and relax.  Because you just gave me a therapeutic outlet to rant to all the people in the world who are like you, and think that four months of trying to get pregnant without results is "having trouble".  Honey, you don't know what trouble is yet.  But if God forbid, you have to join our little group some day, talk to me then.  Because I would be pleased to be a sounding board for your rants, a shoulder to cry on in your down times, a cheer leader for when you're going through treatment, a happy supporter when you find success & get pregnant and a sister in this world of IF  hell.  Until then, go away!

**I added that last part in bold just now because it seems to be a nicer ending for anyone in the future I may need to repost this too.  Sadly, I have a feeling I might refer to this at least once a month.  And a quick shout out to The West Wing, for teaching me a bit about good oratory (even though this is not a speech, repetition  and comparing one that's not like another is still a great way to argue a point.)  And anyone wanting to use this feel free....I only ask for credit for my type A personality because I'm proud of this one.

Halloween

So let me start this off by saying, I used to LOVE Halloween.  Cancel that.  I still love Halloween!  But my husband has never been a big fan.  I don't really know why, except to say that some people just are not into it.  But for the past four years and change, we've not done anything for the holiday.  Sure I pass out candy.  And yes, two years ago I insisted on wearing devil horns to weekly bowling.  But from him ...nada. 

*~*~Flash back to years past~*~*

Knife to head & Ghostbuster '99

Marsha Brady & Hooter Girl '03

  My BFF since I was 15 (and friend since we were 12) would dress up every year.  For two of the four years I lived in Iowa & West Virgina she even traveled to come to my boss's HUGE Halloween party.  Yes, she drove from Chicago to West Virgina for a Halloween party!  She was my party go-to girl.  So why didn't we just go out us girls these past four years?  Well, she got married, and had a kid (and is five days past her due date for kiddo #2 today)  So now instead of winning contests in Bars for best costume - she's making neighborhood mom's jealous for coming up with awesome family costumes.

2010 - Granny, Little Red Riding Hood & the Big Bad Wolf

Popeye, OliveOil & Sweet Pea

** Back to Present Day** 
I have actually convinced Jeff to go to his sister's Halloween party.  The catch?  It's also a sex toy party.  At HIS SISTERS.  Yeah, that might be a bit awkward.  But I'm so looking forward to dressing up again!!  We came up with three costume ideas. 
A)  Axel & Slash (of early '90's G'n'R fame)
B)  Lois & Peter Griffin from Family Guy
C) Cher & Sonny Bono (but Sonny would be right after he hit the tree skiing)

Jeff really liked the Sonny & Cher (He thought of that one) but he wanted ski goggles, a pole with branches taped to it, blood, a fake mustache, etc.  for him.  Plus we'd need to buy me a wig & I'd have to walk around in hooker boots & tight dress all night.  I think he finally nixed that idea because of cost & effort. 

So I thought we'd go with Axel & Slash.  We'd still need to buy a wig (for DH) and a top hat, and a red bandanna but we'd both get to wear jeans & T shirt (with me adding a plaid flannel around my waist). 

But no...final decision came down to Lois & Peter Griffin.  We already own the clothes that they wear, so I just need to spray my hair orange & carry around a stuffed Stewie doll.  (And Jeff is going to use makeup to make his chin look like balls).  So tonight I was web surfing for pics of them....I am afraid for America because I found waaaaay too many "sexy" photo's of the cartoon Lois!  Crazy!  But wish us luck!  I will post a picture of us after Saturday!  Hope everyone else has a great Halloween!