Saying it Out Loud

So since IUI#2 failed over a week ago, I've been falling asleep on the couch early in the evenings.  I had a small hope that what I had was not my period, but break through bleeding and the reason I was so tired was that I actually was pregnant.  So I tested again.  Still negative.  Then I finally admitted to my mom that maybe I was falling asleep because of being depressed.  But I said, "Not depressed the way people in depression fall asleep because they don't want to face the world.  I'm just so tired from the depression of it not working that I'll be watching a show on TV and next thing I know Jeff is waking me up to go upstairs to bed."  My mom agreed that the stress of it all was sucking my energy. 
Then Tuesday night Jeff mentioned that I have not snorted in several days.  Yes people, I snort when I laugh.  I'll admit it.  He like to tickle me until I snort and he said I had not snorted for days (he usually can get two or three snorts out of me a day).  I had not noticed, but obviously he had.  I said that maybe it's because I've been a bit depressed.  He asked why?  Duh!  I said because we have to wait and save for until August or Sept. in order to try again. 
I thought since I had said it out loud to my mom, I had excepted the idea that this time it really did effect me.  But not until I said it out loud to Jeff did it really set in.  I can't just brush this one off.  I was upset last time but we were on vacation and I knew we were going to try again in a matter of weeks.  And I don't know, for some reason I just felt like I knew it wouldn't work the first time but that it would the second time.  And since it didn't I for some reason have taken it to mean it's never going to happen. 
Yesterday was really tough in the morning at work.  There seemed to be kids crying all over the store, and it just made my heart break a little more.  I felt better in the afternoon but still I noticed Jeff didn't even tickle me last night at all :(.
I've heard about some women on the bump talk about how trouble TTC has effected their relationship and I always thought how wonderful it was that Jeff and I seem to be able to avoid that.  We don't find scheduled sex a chore (yet) and life is very similar to what it was before the trouble started.  And yet yesterday seemed off.  I hope it is only temporary and the snorts from tickling resume soon. 
It's just amazing sometimes what saying something out loud will do.