The Juice is worth the Squeeze: Quick Look Back

So since I missed out on the last two months the next few posts will be a little catch up.
First up? July.

It started out pretty good, in that my best friend Brit was visiting from Georgia. As a mom of two small kids, I know her time here can't be just us so we agreed on one of my days off to meet at Costco and then go to a park for the kids to play (Ah the excitement parents have LOL). Upon walking up to them in the store - first words out of her daughter's mouth "Do you have kids?" I saw the looks of "Aw geez, I'm so sorry" on my friend's face. But I get it. Her daughter (5) has seen me about twice a year for the last several years but only for an afternoon here or there. I can't expect a five year old to remember I don't have children. And let's all infertiles admit, while that comment is hard to get from other adults - it's actually not that hard to get from kids. Sad maybe yes, but not hard because they are content with the quick simple answer of "No, sweetie I'm sorry I don't." She was simply hoping for more friends to play with but quickly changed her attention. And really, it was the first time in those first two weeks of finally knowing we were living child free forever that someone asked. So I'm glad it came from a child I know and love and not from an adult stranger with some of the connotations that can come with it (are you one of those "selfish adults"? WHY don't you have kids? WHEN will you have kids? Or just the "advice" or anecdotes that comes from almost all strangers when you explain you have infertility and are now moving on child free.) It let me say it out loud, have an inner smile that I was proud I said it and didn't feel a tear coming and move on.

Oh, and can we pause on that for a second? The adults that DON'T let it go and just HAVE to ask a follow up question or add their advice or anecdote? I heard just this weekend, after I said "No, after five years, two miscarriage, and about $30,000 that we're done. No more trying." One friend said "Are you going to try and adopt?" And once again I explained it takes another 10K (at least) and a year or more and again could lead to nothing and I'm just too emotionally and financially spent for that. A second friend had to give a story of her SIL that adopted and feels she never bonded with the child "correctly" and she believes this is now why they have problems (instead of oh IDK - that she sounds like a typical teenager?). Why tell me this? It came off as her way of saying it's a good thing we're not adopting. What she doesn't realize is there is a part of me that wishes we were 5 years younger, had not spent that last 10K on IVF and had gone for adoption. But I can't turn back time or get my money back so it's moot. Or that I have several friends that were either adopted themselves or adopted their child and have great relationships so this is just an isolated tale that in her mind should "ease" my mind - yet it doesn't? But I've never been a person to live in a "Should have, could have" mentality so I let it go. I know it was probably just that she didn't know what to say and this is what popped into her head so I'll forgive her.

Jeff and I on the 4th of July

Ben and Carter

But anyway, so I had a nice visit with Brit. And another day we all got together on her parents beach to celebrate the 4th of July. After the kids went to get bathes and go to bed - some fun old stories came out. Good laughs. A truely nice 4th in all it's Americana glory. Here are some shots from that day.

Ellie with her Flag

Lauren and Addy

Then the end of the month was Founders. Anyone that follows me knows about putting on our town's Fest. Almost a week of volunteering and drinking. And again it was a blast. And while it's then our fifth anniversary of TTC, and I should have been 9 months PG I was able to almost forget all that for the wonderful time. My friend (One of the #75strong) that has put together an art exhibit called The ART of IF is expanding it now that it will be traveling (To the California Resolve Walk of Hope, Arizona's and hopefully DC and more). She asked us Chicagoland gals if she could come photograph us. The weekend she was doing this was Founders. She thought it was a great opportunity because she has me as making an impact on our community by helping out with this. But I do feel bad that I was not able to really spend time with her, or get shots of my doing anything other than standing around while the parade went on because of how busy we were. But if you get a chance to see her exhibit (or follow her exhibit on FB) here is one of the shots she took of me. And some other pics from the fest that I took.