Good Bye 2014 Hello 2015

I know there are many with the attitude of "Good Riddance" to the past year. And here on Dec 31st I have seen several FB posts to that effect and this is another way I know I have healed...because I said that myself a few years ago in a blog- but not this year.  Yes a year ago today I was in the throes of pain from taking the miso to miscarry my son.  And yet - if I look back at the year as a whole - really not that bad.  As with any person in the world; there are highs and lows to life.  And for me this year has had extremes of both.

Extreme Low?  Jan 1st 2014 physically losing my son.  Extreme High?  Hard to say.  Hearing after six months that we finally got OK'd to move forward buying the house was pretty damn awesome.  But that trip to Nashville in April and watching the blackhawks from six rows off the ice was frickin' awesome as hell.  Karaoking, drinking, laughing and crying with my local #75Strong girls in February meant so much to me.  The fun day trips with Jeff - hell the day to day times he's made me laugh til I snort and cry were many - How does he seem to get funnier each and every year?  Daydreaming of what to do with the house, starting to pack and revisit the past while digging through old things, new clothes for Christmas, and losing 14 lbs in the last five months - it's all good!  Really the miscarriage and the end of our fertility journey (well and just how fricking long this short sale has taken) have been the only bad things about this year.  So I'm focusing on all the good.  All the fun had.  All the love I felt from family, friends, and my husband as I made it through the toughest moment in my life.  But that doesn't define me.  Yes - it has changed a part of me.  And years and years from now I'm sure most all I'll remember about this year is that loss but I want to remember that from that moment forward the year just went up - because honestly where else could it go?  But what a great up it has been.

I feel healthier both mentally and physically then I have in six years.  We're finally financially stable to get a house, have the highest credit score we've had our entire marriage and have paid off so much debt (my main goal this past year).  Our love and marriage is stronger than it's ever been.

And 2015?  Bring it on!
1.  After losing those 14lbs I feel trying to lose another 20lbs this year is actually do-able!  I know so many people put weight loss goals and I won't be too hard on myself - but it's just the belief from what I have accomplished already in five months - and that I made it through Nov & Dec without gaining any of it back (NEVER have I done that!)  Well Hell - let's keep that shit going!  Hell I only have 8lbs to go to be the lowest weight in over 15 years!

2.  This year I walked my first 5k and I'd like to do another one this year and *gasp* maybe even try and jog for some of it!  (Thanks Emmypants for being my inspiration for this one!)

3.  I want to continue and further our financial responsibility - but with the house I know this year will be tough so my one and only financial goal is to get back our "safety net"...we've had 3k in savings since March.  I know that most if not all will be used on the move, painting the first floor, cleaning the place and all that comes with a new home but I want to build that back up to end 2015 right where we are now - with that safety net.

4.  DIY/House Projects/Wood Working - this is going to be vague but while looking around the internet for things I want (objects) or projects I'd like to do for the house I keep thinking "Maybe we could do that ourselves?"  Case in point - I want to recover the dining room chairs from the flower pattern my mother put on there when I was like 8?  They are antiques that I inherited when my grandmother passed away that were originally my great grandmothers.  I want them to be plain yet - I'm thinking a cranberry color.  I also like the idea of a narrow table along the wall near the front door but don't want to pay an arm and a leg - I think I may be able to build that (maybe with the help of my DIY master friend Lauren?!)

5.  And finally - get a NEW JOB.  Once the house sale is behind us - hello job search goodbye retail!  But I know it may take a few months as the job market still is tough here in Illinois but hell - if I could increase my paycheck a little that will seriously help with our goals financially and toward the home projects.

WELCOME 2015!