Victory is MINE!

So I spent much time last night and this morning working up a spreadsheet on what happened when, what was billed to my insurance agency, how it was discounted and therefore what I owe for our IVF cycle.  Gotta actually love that insurance is now online now, can't imagine ten years ago having to wait for paper to come in the mail to prove this shit.  And yes - I'm one of those anal retentive people that loves to spreadsheet and color code.  BOOM.  This is what I sent my RE's finance department:

Date	Day of the Week	What for?	Billed	Discounted	Paid by insurance	owed by us
18-Sep	Wednesday	Baseline	$538.85	$325.25	$170.44	$43.16
23-Sep	Monday	Monitoring	$358.00	$187.97	$136.02	$34.01
25-Sep	Wednesday	Monitoring	$358.00	$187.97	$136.02	$34.01
26-Sep	Thursday	Monitoring	$358.00	$187.97	$136.02	$34.01
27-Sep	Friday	Monitoring	$358.00	$187.97	$136.02	$34.01
28-Sep	Saturday	Monitoring	$358.00	$187.97	$136.02	$34.01
30-Sep	Monday	Monitoring	$358.00	$187.97	$136.02	$34.01
2-Oct	Wednesday	EGG Retrieval	$8,414.00	$4,762.92	$2,513.44	$1,137.64
8-Oct	Tuesday	U/S for Cyst	$267.00	$0.00	$0.00	$267.00
15-Oct	Tuesday	Baseline	$358.00	$0.00	$0.00	$358.00
		TOTALS	$11,725.85	$6,215.99	$986.56	$247.22
					$2,513.44	$1,762.64
					$3,500.00	$2,009.86
				Coverage	$3,500
				We Paid		$5,000
				Minus what we owe		$2,990.14
				Minus cost of FET of $3,050		($59.86)

Now the great part is that according to my insurance company - before the ER bill (that has not been processed yet thus why guesses are highlighted in pink) I only used up about $600 of my IF coverage.  Not the $986.56 I've added up because of what was paid) so that means some of the charges for B/W or U/S does not actually fit into their IF category and was covered under regular insurance.  That means I'll actually pay LESS out of pocket.  However I proved that I will have enough to cover all but about $60 of the FET so there is no way I should be required to pay an additional $3,050 upfront for it if I have a credit coming my way of $2,990.14.  AND I got her to agree this is the case, and email that shit to me in writing that our credit will most likely cover most all of that cost.  Boo-ya. Victory is Mine!

Of course, since alas I never had it in writing about the freeze being covered I am sucking it up and paying that because whether it came from the $5,000 deposit or from us now - we'd pay it to someone eventually since the $5,000 doesn't cover what we owe after insurance handles the fresh cycle, the FET, and the freeze cost.  But since the cryo lab mentioned a possible discount I'm gonna try like hell to get that since I've heard from some of my #75strong that I'm over paying as it is.  So I'm not gonna feel bad damn it.  I will sleep fine tonight.

ETA:  They just called back - got the cost of freeze lowered from $1,100 to $850.  I seriously feel like dancing around the house to the theme from Rocky right now.  Yesterday it looked like we would be out another $4,150 and today I'm able to say now it's just $910.  FUCK YEAH!

What a cluster fuck this has turned into

So first let me explain the massive miscommunication that is the instructions.  Waaay back in 2010 when I first met with my RE I gave a hotmail account as my email.  I never got anything in that account from them other than articles about various infertility related things (often not even applying to me like PCOS).  So when that account got hacked, I changed to a yahoo account but kept the hotmail account simply for spam (you know...people I didn't want to have my real account so it's flooded with emails from online shopping and such).  Fast forward to this past cycle.  I got my instructions for IVF from the coordinator herself as I always had and was never told anything would be emailed to me.  Discussions on payments and what they cover were also all done over the phone - no emails.

So over three years of in person or over phone discussions.  Suddenly post IVF they email my FET protocol to me the day after egg retrieval.  But to my old hotmail account that I only clean out once a month (usually there is over 400 emails and I just quickly scan through the sender to make sure it's no one I know).  Because I never noticed this email or was told to expect it I didn't know I was given specific instructions like "Keep taking progesterone even if your period shows up"  and "Start Lupron on 10/14".  Instead, I start my period on 10/11 and I call their Highland Park office (the one's in change of IVF, not my local office).  They inform me of the missed email, that I'm starting luron Monday, and don't mention to keep taking the progesterone.  Because it was after 4pm CST I have to scramble with my specialty pharmacy in EST zone to make a special trip to UPS to get my meds here by Monday and patiently wait for them to resend this protocol email to my current address.

Monday morning arrives, the meds show up, but still no email - so I don't know how much of the lupron I'm supposed to take.  So I call my local clinic (because they know me and seem to get shit done much better than IVF HP location).  That nurse informs me if I got my period and stopped taking the progesterone that it suddenly changes my protocol and timing AND MEDS!  WHA???  Why didn't HP tell me this?  Thankfully after a baseline, and behind the scenes consultations with RE they decide that I can "swap" the lupron I rush ordered for Ganirelix(using their stash at the office this saves me $840 OOP), and use birth control, and just move my FET date to Nov. 15th.  But emails were going back and forth so that both my local nurse and my RE understand the mix up in communication and why I was so upset.  A) if they are suddenly going to start communicating with email they should TELL YOU to expect that and sometime in the five phone calls and two office visits someone should have TOLD ME either what the hell my time line and protocol was or made sure I GOT the email.  But at least I was heard, understood, apologized to for the fuck ups and we're still on track for for FET Nov. 15th now instead of Oct. 28th (which apparently was what they were shooting for if I had not stopped the progesterone and thus been able to started the lupron). WHEW.

**Sorry this is such a long ass post but I seriously need to get this off my chest.**  Now for the finance fuck up.  As I said, everything was done over the phone or in person.  I had been told the IVF (non meds part) cycle would cost $10,000 - but that since I have some insurance coverage it will be sent to insurance and they would negotiate the rates down to say $7,000...of which I have a $3,500 coverage for IF.  So they pay half and I'd pay the other $3,500.  They said they needed a deposit of $5,000 to cover not only this $3,500 but $1,100 for cost of freezing any embryos and then $400 for room on if they were off on negotiated rates.  If we didn't have anything to freeze or the rates were negotiated as they expected I would get $400 or we also have nothing to freeze we would get that credit back.  Well we didn't end up doing a fresh transfer so there should be some credit in there right?  And they said SPECIFICALLY about the cost of freezing is included.

Now suddenly I have a cryogenics center saying I owe them $1,100 for the freeze.  NO, I was told that was included.  They called and checked and called me back saying "No, sorry you still owe us $1,100".  They are giving me time to deal with my finance department to see if I can get that money from them since that's not what I was told.  And she said she could try to see if I can get a discount (I think because I was crying on the phone about how I was no told that etc.etc.etc.)

So I've tried calling my finance department.  A) no one answers their phone. Ever.  It always goes to voicemail.  I knew this from back in August trying to get answers on the initial cost.  BUT OK, I leave you a voicemail - call me back the same day would you?  NOPE.

Then today I get an email about how "I see you're about to start a FET cycle.  Our records indicate you are self pay.  You will owe $3,050 for the cycle."  and it lays out what all that covers.  Um...I don't have anything in writing like this for the fresh cycle so no way to prove what they told me about the freezing.  And while my coverage for IF stuff is done, I can still have it run through insurance to get the negotiated rates.  And since I didn't do a fresh transfer I should have some credit in that area.  AND if you're not paying for the freeze I am I should have even more coming to me.  AND CALL ME BACK YOU FUCKTARDS.

You know how they say you should try to stay as stress free during this crap as possible?  YOU ARE NOT HELPING.  Somehow we  have to come up with $4,150 soon or work this shit out fast.  Just shoot me.  I can't take much more of this.

I'm too young to feel this damn old

This phrase did escape my mouth twice yesterday and damn it if it isn't true.

First let me say that moving from doing desk jobs for over eight years to physical retail work for the last four years is clearly not good for my body.  Long time followers of the blog will remember I have chronic tennis elbow.  While cortisone shots can make the pain go away for six month stretches, I will most likely need surgery within the next year or two.  I didn't know how cortisone might affect IVF so this is the first time I've said "Fuck it, I'll live with the pain."  So that's hurt since my last shot wore off in early September.

And in July I developed what I believe is planter fasciitis in my left foot.  So it hurts when I first start walking (when I first get up in the morning and if I sit for a while after a period of being up and around).  I had hoped that the 12 days off work would resolve this (Since many sites say rest can clear it up).  But I started working again on Thursday and damn it yesterday if I wasn't hobbling around like I'm 80 first thing in the morning.

Then there's that cyst on my left ovary giving me some pains here and there.

Then I got my period yesterday.  Hello back pain and cramps.

Oh, and I've apparently developed stress bumps on my face. WHAT THE FUCK?!  I've dealt with moving cross country on my own, being fired from a job, getting married, and four years of infertility treatments - not to mention last week waiting for phone calls and NOW once all that is behind me I get this?

So yes people...I'm sitting here with a hurting right elbow, left foot, left ovary, crampy uterus, back pain and and an ugly face full of bumps and the five pounds I've gained from IVF and eating takeout all the time the last three weeks from being too tired to cook.  And I get to start stabbing myself again with needles starting with Lupron come Monday.  Pity party time.  I'd love to go back to being someone where my biggest physical complaint is a zit or a headache.

Pokey didn't make it

Pokey didn't make it.  So we have just the one frozen embryo.  But it's a 4BB embryo, and it made it.  So that will be what's transferred at the FET.  Talk about pressure on little Lucky!  I don't know what else to say.  This one embryo is our last chance.  It's really sinking in now we're nearing the end of this IF journey one way or the other.

Dance of Joy!

So they called early for once!  No day of agony!

I'm happy to report that one of our little Amigos has made it to full blastocyst stage and is ready to freeze!  And another is not far behind as it's in early blast and still growing so they said they will let it continue to day seven.  Wha?!  I've never heard of letting embryos grow to day seven but already in the last few minutes I've had two fellow IFers say they've either hear of that or done that as well so at least I know it's not unheard of.  And yeah, let my little Pokey keep going!  (Am I showing my age when I think of Gumby and Pokey?)

So the Three Amigo's there names were Dusty Bottoms, Lucky Day, and Ned Nederlender.  I'm calling the frostie Lucky after Steve Martin's character.  And if Pokey makes it, we'll transfer both Lucky and Pokey in our FET.  

Lucky
<----- p="">

Pokey
----->




As for my Ultrasound, I have a 40mm "bloody" cyst on my left ovary.  Which is also apparently hiding slightly behind my uterus...so they said when I lay on my back or left side I'm sort of "squishing" on that ovary.  Eewwww!  RE will be consulted to hear if we're going to just watch it to see if it will resolve on it's own or what.  So I have yet another call coming tomorrow to hear about Pokey as well as a call from REs office on the cyst, which since it's bloody I'm calling Carrie.  Yes, I'm naming everything today!  Call me a little cray-cray, I'm ok with it.

They called...Day five

So once again two posts in one day!  Most of this is copied and pasted from TB so if you follow me on IF there...you've seen this.
This was my email to my husband titled:  Can I throat punch people?

So obviously this has been one of the most nerve wracking days of my life.  You know I'm not a patient person, but yeah I made it til one o'clock before calling.  They apologized that I was told I would get a three day report...they said since I was switched to a freeze all that they don't check them on day three because they want to keep them as undisturbed as possible (Um, that's not what you said on Thursday!) whatever.  Then she explained that the lab voicemail is not checked by the embryologist but their receptionist (they have their own receptionist?!?) and she doesn't work on the weekend so they didn't even know to call me to let me know there would be no three day check.  

As for today - again, since we're a freeze-all they are busy in the morning with egg retrievals, and transfers all morning.  Then move on to day one fertilization reports for those that had retrievals yesterday, then day three folks, then finally me.  So I won't be called until late afternoon.  WHY DIDN'T SOMEONE EXPLAIN THAT EARLIER?!

So in other words, still waiting for the call.  But they do want me to come into my local office tomorrow for an ultrasound due to the pain I described.  Could be left over follies because cysts or ovary torsion, but they said since Tylenol helped and it has dulled since this morning and I don't have a fever it's not an immediate worry.

I love you.  Thanks for letting me word vomit.

After the call this was my email to my MIL & SIL (I called Jeff to talk to him directly)

So to explain the news I need to get a little technical, please forgive me.

On day 3 after fertilization, the embryos are 6-9 cells.  On day four to five they have divided more times and look like a ball of cells that's call a "Morula".  On day five to six they reach "blastocyst" stage - which is what they need to be in order to be able to freeze them.  I'm being geeky and attaching a picture so you can see what I mean.  

Of our seven that fertilized, four arrested around day three when they were 6-9 cells.  Our remaining three are at the "Morula" stage which is most typical of day four but can still happen on day five.  So we need these three to keep growing to reach blastocyst stage when they check them tomorrow, to see how many (if any) they are able to freeze.  I told Jeff that since I'm a fairly lazy person, hopefully so are our trio and they just need a little extra time to make it there.  So yet again I have another agonizing day waiting for a phone call.  

Aside from that, I felt great on Saturday and all day yesterday but then had intense cramping last night and this morning that woke me up.  It's bad enough that they want me to come in for an ultrasound tomorrow to see if any remaining follicles turned into cysts or if my ovaries in their mango size state got twisted and I'm dealing with ovary "torsion" (although without a high fever and the fact that the pain comes and goes that's unlikely).  

So that's where we are.  I'll let you know tomorrow the final outcome on our three Amigos.  

So that's it.  See? I am lazy!  Copy/Paste was so much easier then writing that all out again!  

The Waiting in the Hardest Part

Oh Tom Petty how right you are.  The waiting IS the hardest part.

Have you ever realized one phone call will determine the path your life will take?  I didn't know it at the time, but the phone call I got back in May of 2010 saying we were dealing with a diagnosed fertility issue certainly changed the course of my life.  The wait to find out my second beta and that we were in deed miscarrying was another excruciating wait.  Of course the pain of that day overshadows the memory of the wait immensely.  Today is another one of those phone calls.  And the wait is agonizing.  I've been trying to be optimistic and using positive thinking but it stopped last night and the fear crept in.

What if the reason the lab never called this weekend is because my embies didn't even make it to day 3?  I started google searching (never good) and saw all kinds of dizzying stats that say anything to 15% - 40% percent of embies make it to freeze (No one seems to agree on the percent).  OMG I have a 60%-85% chance of not having anything?  I was hoping for four but now I'll take anything. ANYTHING!  The sheer thought that I could be getting a phone call any minute and it will steer the course forward of if we can or cannot have a shot at ever being parents is almost overwhelming.

No words can capture the terror.  Now, if we do have embies I will have another wait like this.  But for now I'm just freaking out.  I can't function.  Seriously.

Oh, and I had HORRIBLE cramps at midnight and again this morning at 6:30am.  So bad I was curled in the fetal position crying.  What the fuck is that about?  I felt fine Saturday and all day Sunday.  I've asked the #75 gals and the IF bump gals.  I will be asking about that when they call (if I can remember anything after they tell me the news).  Don't mean to end this abruptly but serious I can't focus.