One little thing can ruin a whole day

So I woke up early today to a seven degree temp drop, which usually means my period will be here tomorrow. :( I feel so defeated! Just last night I was feeling some slight pain in my lower abdomen thinking it was a good sign and now I think it's early cramps. It's really nature's cruel-ass joke that early pregnancy symptoms and impending periods have some of the same damn symptoms! Yes, it's not over yet. Yes, it could be an implantation dip. Yes, it could be that I woke up too early. Yes, since I drink in my sleep I could have taken a sip of Fresca and incorporated it into my dream and that effected the temp. But I don't believe any of this. I believe I am out. I believe this cycle is a bust. I feel like somehow I failed. As if I had any control over it! I know in my head that I don't, but my heart isn't listening. And since so many people know, it's like I let my family and friends down. Which is so stupid!! I know they won't blame me, but I'm blaming myself. And I know I told so many because, well - I'm an open person and have been talking about our infertility for nine months now. I don't know how to keep it in. Sometimes I wish I was one of those private people suffering in silence, but that's just not who I am. It's not how I'm wired. It's just so ridiculous how one little thing like a temperature can ruin a day.