It's the little things I'm missing....

So sometimes you don't know what you're even missing out on in life.  Sure, not having been blessed with children yet I know I am missing out on hearing your child say "momma" for the first time.  That first time they giggle and it's not gas.  The pictures that are filling up my FB feed of the first day back at school, etc.

But it's the little things that you don't even know you're missing until you see it first hand.

Today was Barb's birthday, and if you read my blog you know she's one of my closest friends and has a 3 year old and a 10 month old.  Today when I came over the 3 year old had this thing hanging from her pony tail.  It was two hair towels tied together and then with flower hair clips pinned to it.  Hanging off her pony tail.  And she comes running up proclaiming "Kati!  Look at my beautiful hair!"   Later she grabs my hand so we can go into the bathroom to see it "glow" (thankfully Barb informed me on the way that we are just imagining that it glows).  Turns out her favorite movie currently is Tangled and in it Rapunzel's hair glows when she sings.  She said she was going to be Rapunzel for Halloween which depressed Barb a little because she loves to do family costumes.  ((I am going to find a way for her husband to be the leading man, barb can be the woman with dark hair and the baby can be the lizard and this is from me just watching a few minutes of said film.))  And Barb confessed that she found a Rapunzel wig that has fiber optics so it glows.  But to me, there is nothing better than a toddler running around the house with towel on her head.  I'm missing out on that cuteness.  See this post  for two pics of her families Halloweens past (middle of the post).

And then when Barb went to lay the baby down for a nap, I was guided into the other room to build forts out of summer patio cushions that had been brought in with the three year old.  This girl has awesome fort building skills!  And imagination because she also built a bridge, and a tower, etc after we build three different forts.  It brought back GREAT memories of fort building in our basement with my brother.  Forts were the BOMB.  And how could you not love hanging out for a few minutes building forts.  I am missing out on that fun.

Except for today.  I will admit that while I am sad I don't have any of my own yet....I am so thankful that I have friends that have children!  For many dealing with IF, I know it's too hard to be around children.  But I'm glad it's not for me. **Most of the time** Yes, I get down at special occasions and holidays not being able to share it with a child of my own but the every day stuff?  I can't help but smile at it! Because I would miss out even further by not experiencing fun through the eyes of a child right now.  Sure, I wish I had this every day. And yes, I wish it was my kid.  And of course, parents can get tired of what I find cute and charming.  But let me enjoy my warm fuzziness in the moment.

If I never end up getting to be a parent, I know I will cherish all these surrogate aunt and actual Aunt moments.  My Aunt experiences have been with the five boys, so it's great that of the friend's kids, four of the five are girls...so now I can see this side of it.  I wish I had taken a picture of this little girl smiling at me with her towel Rapunzel hair popping out of her tent - but I was too caught up in the moment.  And at least I have that snapshot in my head.