Monitoring #3 (After six days of stims)

So I'm kind of a sneaky bastard.  On Tuesday, Roberta told me to set up Thursday monitoring in Buffalo Grove (since my office doesn't have U/S on Thursday) and one for Friday at my office.  And mentioned I'd probably have one over the weekend out in Highland Park.

We yesterday I had my monitoring at B.G. but *hate* the U/S tech there.  I can't see the screen and she only measures anything above 10mm.  And didn't tell me lining thickness.  Nothing!  So when they called with my blood work, they said "OK, you'll come in to HP on Saturday."  And I thought "Oh, I think they mean I don't have to go in Friday to my office."  But I didn't ask for clarity because damnit I wanted to go to Roberta so I could hear and see every little detail!

So I showed up today, she was very thorough and I got all the juicy details.  Then went for the blood work and the nurse was like "Um, we have that you were only supposed to come in Saturday."  And I totally played dumb, like "Well on Tuesday Roberta told me to set up this Friday appt. so I just assumed I was supposed to keep it???"  And they were like, "no - so there's no need to draw your blood since you're going in tomorrow."  :::::blushes from shame::::: I figure since I had to pay them $11K (not including meds) for this cycle out of pocket and it includes all U/S that darn it - I can see and hear what info I want from my fav tech if your others are going to be so stingy with info.  So here's the news I got:

Right:  16mm, 14.5mm, 13.5mm, 11, and a 7.5mm  (((Yesterday I was only told I had three - 11.5, 11, and 10))
Left:  16.5mm, 13.5mm, 9.5mm, 8.5mm, and 8mm.  (((Yesterday I was only told a 14.5mm)))

So it's as if I went from only four follies to ten!  Big difference!  And I learned my lining is triple stripped now and 8.3 (up from 6.5 on Tuesday)

Now I keep repeating the mantra "Quality over Quantity" but I can't help but compare to last cycle and at this point (actually a day earlier) I already had 15 follies over 8mm.  Today I only have 9 over 8mm.  SIGH.
But I know for quality it's better if they grow slower so those two biggest actually not be that great and I need to focus on getting good eggies.  And maybe there are a few more small suckers hiding just waiting to burst forth with growth.  But seriously, my fear factor has just jumped since last time I only had 13 retrieved, 11 mature, and nine fertilize all to only get one to blast...I can't help but feel like "If only one made it out of those 13 retrieved...what if I only have like 7 or 8 retrieved?!?!?!"  ARGH!  I seriously have a love/hate for IVF.

The sheer level of anxiety and worry, mixed with all the hormones, drugs to remember, etc is a lot to take.  BUT I am trying to be thankful today as today marked the start of my IVF Stay-cation!  13 days of no work!  I can be a big old bloated mess here at home.  ((But oddly, I've LOST two lbs this week on stims.  Well THAT's different!  Only one more lbs to go before I'm back down to my "wedding weight" from five years ago))  Aside from laying around, I plan on tanning outside, reading a lot, and hope to get in visits and lunches with friends and family.  Try and make it feel a little more actual vacation rather than medical.