It's just NOT FAIR!

That's what it comes down to...and I feel like a six year old pouting that she didn't get her way but in this case it really really really is true.  Ending your infertility journey without a child just.isn't.fair.

I have been reading.  A LOT. The last month, I've read three books.  End of Eternity by Ken Follet - of which there is one character (Out of like 25 so I'm not giving anything away) who mourns the fact that come mid life, she'd never met a man to settle down and have kids.  And after three books in the trilogy following five families through three generations the bigger sadness I drew from the book was stories that pass down, triats etc.  I'll never have a "next generation" of us.  Sigh.

Book two - Gone Girl...again, trying to not give anything away but pregnancy comes up a few times in the book.  And needless to say, I hated the ending (As did many people, I'm not alone here)...wonder if the movie will change the ending?

Third book - Dan Brown's Inferno.  Now here I cannot talk without giving away the book...so jump to the next paragraph if you want to read the book.  The whole book is about over population of the world.  And how we're destined to live in a modern version of Dante's hell if something isn't done.  And in the last 30 pages, we learn that the "plague" released onto the world is actually a genetic mutation that makes one in three people infertile.  STAB.  Seriously?  SERIOUSLY?

I read books for escapism damn it.  Yet I swear to God, three books in a row that just somehow, someway remind me I will never ever get pregnant (again), never be a mom, have another generation after mine, etc.  And all I can do is pout and think it just is not fair damn it.  Oh, and try and find a book that I can just for fucks sake enjoy without the reminder.