Just for me

 So I assume no one see this anymore (I mean seriously it's been almost 6 years since a new post). But 3 times now in wanting to remember specifics about a Vegas trip I've searched it out and reread not only the two Vegas trips but what life was like 2012-2014 for me. So it's like my diary from that time and sad I didn't at least occasionally update it. So I'm really hoping no one sees this because why bother? It's just for me. But lets be honest, it's the internet so if you stumble across this or were a one time follower and still get notifications, hi! 

So first, the state of the world. Well it's Jan 12, 2021 so we're 10 months into the covid pandemic.  I worked from home March 21st to June 15th and now Dec 7 to whenever 1 week past the second vaccine (I should get second one around Feb 2nd). We just had an attempted coup with Trump supporting QAnon wackos & such storming the capital and we're 8 days from Joe Biden being sworn in Phew! That's the short version obviously. Over 330,000 Americans dead from covid, masks, no schools etc and the infamous toilet paper shortage.  I heard once historians only knew about average life in say the 1700s because of people's diary entries.  Lord help us if a historian has to use the likes of me rambling. Because I'm not going into more detail - the whole world is living it - y'all know what's happening and I doubt I'll forget. 

Now personally, well I only lasted 9 month working at the dentist office that was mentioned in last blog 6 years ago so might as well start there. I was being worked to death! Hired to work 32-40 hours a week but ended up working 48-54, with at least 3 days a week being 11 hr days. So I switched to a home health company, 30 hours a week 11am-5pm (which is how I'm early when it comes to getting vaccine). Coming up on 5 years this March.  It has its ups and downs, but happy.

My dad died in August.  Unexpected (to a point, since with COPD and heart disease my mom has warned us he "wouldn't make it five years" for the last 8 years. She was finally right.  A massive heart attack, he lasted 10 days. They couldn't do a heart surgery because his lung were not healthy enough. And his lungs couldn't get healthy because his heart sucked. Double edge sword. But at least even with covid (not him but the hospital), we were able to go in and say goodbye because Oklahoma's protocols at that time were a lot more lax then here in Illinois.  I hope by now they've limited visitors more with them having a positivity rate around 20% (for reference, IL is at 9% and this is during the post holiday spike everyone expected.  We're hoping to get back under 4% like we were back in October soon).  Mom is handling it OK, first month was really tough, next two were still tough but not horribly so and we made it through the holidays without a massive cry fest so I call that a win.  Last Sunday she admitted she's finally settling in and getting used to living alone.

The House! So we're about to hit 6 years this month as home owners and I want a record of all we've done so far so here goes:
2015 - Bought the house, replaced main floor with hard wood and painted entire interior before move in.
2016- Replaced Light fixtures/chandeliers  in foyer, DR, Kitchen & family room. 
2017 - Got a shed & had the fire pit & stone patio built
2018 - Replaced all kitchen appliances, restained the cabinets, got granite coutertops & new sink
2019 - personally rebuilt deck in Trex composite decking Also moved Jeff's office into brown bedroom and bought furniture for front room no longer, his office it's now a proper living room.
2020 - Replaced roof & installed Allen & Roth closet organizers in all 3 bedrooms.  Also updated guest bath decor in Paris theme getting rid of beach theme I had kept for 20 years (how am I old enough to have had a bathroom theme that long???)

Vacations - There have been a ton to Vegas (which I will do a separate post about since um...that's what drew me to this again), two trips to Nashville for Hawks games (I believe one is in a blog below). trips to Michigan, in Jan 2018 the bahamas and this year - even with covid we felt as long as positivity rate was below 10%, we wore masks, socially distanced and the states we were going to upheld a 50% capacity at restaurants with 6 ft apart darn it we could still vacation!  So we could not pass up and unbelievable deal to Lake Tahoe in July after we had to cancel Vegas in April and spend that money on a new roof (timing worked out that Vegas shut down for 3 months so that we could afford the roof but can you believe that Vegas shut down for 3 months!?!).  We also went to Vegas in October and it was sort of like a ghost town compared to normal since many either don't want to travel or don't like the 24/7 mask mandate, no clubs, ,no shows, ect.  

OK, Job, House, Vacation, Dad's passing.  I think I've caught up on the glossy overview of the last 6 years except for what started the whole blog thing off - Infertility.  First off - Jeff & I are still madly in love but I will say after 13 years living together, and coming up this summer of 12 years married I can see that the honeymoon phase does where off a bit.  But so what if it goes from wild passion to comfortable with spurts of passion?  I think a silver lining in the child free life we have made for ourselves is that there is no one else to take away that time and attention.  So I think we're still more connected than many couples because I know the sleepless nights of babies, exhaustion of toddlers, etc takes it's toll on relationships - because I've seen it in many of my friends and from the girls (75 strong & Coalition of Awesome) because I still keep up with over 120 of the girls I met on the boards back in the days of infertility.  Of course many of them now have 10 - 6 year olds so hopefully they're getting more sleep now.  But I get sad when I hear their relationships with spouses is more like a roommate, or for a handful that life lead to divorce. So once again, I count myself lucky. Yes, we walked ahead child free but we at least are still in love.  As for stats.  I believe out of 120ish - there are only like 8 of us without kids.  So if you stumble across this due to infertility.  Yes - there are childfree.  But there are always the successes too. The trick is to finding how far you're comfortable going - emotionally, physically, financially and with your partner.  We had an end date, we (within a few extra months) stuck to it.  I had about a year of mourning, two more years of the occational "what ifs?" and now 5 and a half years later barely even think about it except to advocate when I hear people talking stupid.