So eight months of a break were great. I got away from thinking of IF all the time. But you know what happened? It made going back into it all that much harder. Suddenly, I don't have that hope I had when I was cycling last year. I don't have that "brave face" I've put on for so long.
I have sadness. I have tears. I have self blame and self doubt. I have severe guilt that I've made my husband feel like it's his fault - un-knowingly by the pressure I put on myself. This caused a fight, which cause more tears. More sadness. More doubt. This marks several days I've felt like crawling in bed and crying. Until last week I felt myself, now I feel like a shell of myself. About to break at any point.
A friend of ours came over last night to cut our hair and wished me happy new year as she walked in the door and I found my self saying "yeah, woo-hoo" sarcastically and saw her face drop because clearly my answer was dripping with "who give a fuck?"
I don't want people to ask me how I am because that might cause me to break even further. My eyes are swollen from all the tears last night. And today they continue to flow at random moments. I can't stop worrying - and yet that was what the stupid fucking fight was about in the first place. How am I supposed to just let go???
And the worst is the knowledge that because Jeff's bonus is now very possibly not going to happen because of super storm Sandy we probably can't afford IVF if this fails. So now there's even more pressure. And before I thought we were both on the same page, bio baby or nothing. But Jeff's now brought up adoption twice in the last month. I just don't know if I can go from the idea of this is our last year of trying to gearing up to deal with this pain for another year or two.
I just don't know if I can do it.
Ice bar in Vegas 2012
Tuesday, January 15, 2013
Monday, January 14, 2013
Start of IUI #4 - Baseline etc.
So today is cd4 and the day of my baseline.
AFC: 13 - - - 6 on the left and 7 on the right. This is down from 18 last April, and 23 two years ago. Man getting old sucks! I guess it's a good thing we said this is the last year of trying since two years ago she said I had the "ovaries of a 23 year old" and today I am feeling very much my "Advanced Maternal Age" (AMA) designation.
So tonight I am starting 75iu of Follistim again. I have plenty in reserve from my stockpile Bethany sent me. I should have enough to do this cycle and an IVF cycle if needed. If not, I will be passing them on to another OOP 3T'er, hopefully one from my support group on FB, if not then through the meds donation program on TB.
I go back in on Thursday (cd7) to see response after three nights of drugs. Since that's a Thursday I worry a little about timing. If they have me do two - three more days then I'll need to go in for monitoring on Sat. or Sunday. I don't know that they'd let me go all the way until Monday with taking drugs and not monitoring. I kind of hope so, because then I'd most likely be ready to trigger and have IUI on cd13 (Wednesday). Whereas if I have to go in on Saturday, then I'd probably still have to go in Monday - which means one more day of costs ($280ish) OOP.
Obviously I don't want to risk my health - but this is all so expensive that if I could save a few hundred - please do!! Especially since our HSA this year only puts in $1,000 up front and then the rest is done per pay check instead of front loading it at the beginning of the year. Because of some scripts I picked up for Jeff and today's $474 payment for the U/S and B/W we only have $600 left for the rest of the month of January.
One monitoring and the IUI should cost $500 and I still have to pay for the ovidril trigger (around $85). If I have that additional monitoring that sends us over the edge and I'll have to pay out of our monthly living expenses. Crap. There goes any room of feeling comfortable this month. At least all of Christmas was cash and there are no credit cards that will be looking for money. Thank goodness for small favors. Will update again after Thursdays appointment, if not sooner.
AFC: 13 - - - 6 on the left and 7 on the right. This is down from 18 last April, and 23 two years ago. Man getting old sucks! I guess it's a good thing we said this is the last year of trying since two years ago she said I had the "ovaries of a 23 year old" and today I am feeling very much my "Advanced Maternal Age" (AMA) designation.
So tonight I am starting 75iu of Follistim again. I have plenty in reserve from my stockpile Bethany sent me. I should have enough to do this cycle and an IVF cycle if needed. If not, I will be passing them on to another OOP 3T'er, hopefully one from my support group on FB, if not then through the meds donation program on TB.
I go back in on Thursday (cd7) to see response after three nights of drugs. Since that's a Thursday I worry a little about timing. If they have me do two - three more days then I'll need to go in for monitoring on Sat. or Sunday. I don't know that they'd let me go all the way until Monday with taking drugs and not monitoring. I kind of hope so, because then I'd most likely be ready to trigger and have IUI on cd13 (Wednesday). Whereas if I have to go in on Saturday, then I'd probably still have to go in Monday - which means one more day of costs ($280ish) OOP.
Obviously I don't want to risk my health - but this is all so expensive that if I could save a few hundred - please do!! Especially since our HSA this year only puts in $1,000 up front and then the rest is done per pay check instead of front loading it at the beginning of the year. Because of some scripts I picked up for Jeff and today's $474 payment for the U/S and B/W we only have $600 left for the rest of the month of January.
One monitoring and the IUI should cost $500 and I still have to pay for the ovidril trigger (around $85). If I have that additional monitoring that sends us over the edge and I'll have to pay out of our monthly living expenses. Crap. There goes any room of feeling comfortable this month. At least all of Christmas was cash and there are no credit cards that will be looking for money. Thank goodness for small favors. Will update again after Thursdays appointment, if not sooner.
Friday, December 28, 2012
It's Go time 2013
So I know in the past (ahem 2011 and 2012) I would look back at how bad I felt the year was and how the next year *better* be better. Not this year...I'm changing my attitude. I'm going to remember all the greatness that was 2012 and I ask 2013 to be just as good if not better!
So 2012. I loved the calm that I felt throughout much of the year. I felt confidant enough to request a promotion at work and got one - yeah me! I hated it the first month and wondered if I had made a mistake - but I told myself "Give it three months, then decide" because traditionally in my previous jobs I've always hated the first few months because I hate feeling like I don't know what I'm doing. Well, now I enjoy it much more than what I was doing before. So glad I had confidence in myself and learned from my past to not react too quickly.
And I felt calm knowing we had to take another long break. I knew from 2011 that the time would eventually pass...and a lot quicker than I thought it would. I took that knowledge from 2011 and applied it to 2012. And so this year's break has gone by much better. And I spent personal time to come closer to terms with the idea of living child free. And then took the next step of admitting out loud to people that 2013 will be our last year of trying (even enough so that I put it in our Christmas letter!). Brave? Maybe. But I like that I put it out there so that it will lessen questions. AND remind myself I can do this if need be.
I took full reigns of the 5 and 10K run for Founders. And while there were some bumps everyone said it went off well. And I learned things to improve on for next year. I'm happy to become more involved in this volunteer event that is so much a part of Jeff and my life.
I'm fucking thrilled that Jeff and I got to take a vacation! And not just one - but we took a day-cation in spring, and few afternoon getaway day-dates in the summer and fall. I think it's made us more relaxed in general and closer. Must be sure to repeat this step for 2013.
Which reminds me - trying new things! We tried golfing together as one of our day dates. We made a few new recipes, and we made drunk gummie bears. And every single time we enjoyed the results. We do not have to just always do the same old same old. You CAN teach these old dogs some new tricks!
So 2013 - it's go time! I want to enjoy life as much as I did this year. And more! More new things, more time together, more confidence, more thinking positively! I can't wait to see what you have in store for the Juice-ski's this year.
So 2012. I loved the calm that I felt throughout much of the year. I felt confidant enough to request a promotion at work and got one - yeah me! I hated it the first month and wondered if I had made a mistake - but I told myself "Give it three months, then decide" because traditionally in my previous jobs I've always hated the first few months because I hate feeling like I don't know what I'm doing. Well, now I enjoy it much more than what I was doing before. So glad I had confidence in myself and learned from my past to not react too quickly.
And I felt calm knowing we had to take another long break. I knew from 2011 that the time would eventually pass...and a lot quicker than I thought it would. I took that knowledge from 2011 and applied it to 2012. And so this year's break has gone by much better. And I spent personal time to come closer to terms with the idea of living child free. And then took the next step of admitting out loud to people that 2013 will be our last year of trying (even enough so that I put it in our Christmas letter!). Brave? Maybe. But I like that I put it out there so that it will lessen questions. AND remind myself I can do this if need be.
I took full reigns of the 5 and 10K run for Founders. And while there were some bumps everyone said it went off well. And I learned things to improve on for next year. I'm happy to become more involved in this volunteer event that is so much a part of Jeff and my life.
I'm fucking thrilled that Jeff and I got to take a vacation! And not just one - but we took a day-cation in spring, and few afternoon getaway day-dates in the summer and fall. I think it's made us more relaxed in general and closer. Must be sure to repeat this step for 2013.
Which reminds me - trying new things! We tried golfing together as one of our day dates. We made a few new recipes, and we made drunk gummie bears. And every single time we enjoyed the results. We do not have to just always do the same old same old. You CAN teach these old dogs some new tricks!
So 2013 - it's go time! I want to enjoy life as much as I did this year. And more! More new things, more time together, more confidence, more thinking positively! I can't wait to see what you have in store for the Juice-ski's this year.
Tuesday, December 11, 2012
Holiday Traditions Quiz
Since last year I gave you all a tour of me through my Christmas tree I thought this year warrants a holiday post of some kind. Missie at Growing up Geeky has her "Toddle along Tuesday" topics each week with a blog hop for moms. Since I am not a mom, I don't participate but several times her topic brings thoughts to mind of either my child hood, or what I'll do when I'm a mother. One of the people linked up in her blog hop had this list and I thought it pertains to anyone so without further ado....a little on my thoughts on holiday traditions through a quiz (because really, who doesn't like silly quizzes?)
- Egg Nog or Hot Chocolate? Hot Chocolate. I think because I was allergic to milk as a child I can't get behind the thickness of egg nog. This year I tried an Egg Nog latte from Starbucks since Jeff is such a big fan but no dice - don't even like it in latte form.
- Does Santa wrap presents or just sit them under the tree? When I was a kid, my mom would wrap Santa gifts in a totally different paper than the family gifts (because duh, the elves wrap them). I remember the last year I believed in Santa it was ET paper and I thought it was cool. Funny what stands out in your mind.
- Colored lights on tree/house or white? For some reason, I'm very partial...colored lights for the tree but I have white lights for outside (but currently our only outside lights are on two 3 foot trees on either side of our front door. But if we add more to the collection I want to keep them white because I think it looks more classic sophisticated.
- Do you hang mistletoe? We don't have any mistletoe here, but my mother has had the same real mistle toe for over 35 years. How it's not crumbled to pieces is beyond me. I just read here the other day that druids (who Christianity has stolen the symbol of the tree and mistletoe from in trying to convert pagans) anyway, the druids viewed mistletoe as the cure for infertility and infused it into a drink to make barren animals (and humans) fertile. Kind of makes this cray-cray infertile want to go find some mistletoe! LOL
- When do you put your decorations up? Usually the day after thanksgiving. But with retail work these past three years I do it whenever I have a day off after black Friday. This year is was the Sunday and Monday after.
- What is your favorite holiday dish? The Christmas Morning Kringle!! Being of some German genes this was something this diabetic let her self actually eat. It is a big danish thing that we usually bought on the Wisconsin boarder because it was the easiest place to find it. (My mom has much more trouble getting one now that they live in Oklahoma). OMG I love it with sausage and *super* eggs (like a loaded omelette only in scrambled form which is my families tradition breakfast after opening gifts.)
- Favorite holiday memory as a child? The first year my grandmother came to spend Christmas with us after grandpa died. She opened a Pepperidge farm sausage from my uncle and she said "I told Tommy I was lonley, but I'm not *This* lonely!" I was 12 or 13 and thought it was hilarious that my grandma made a dildo joke at Christmas....only my family! Got love her RIP. That or the year that my other grandma sent me a cookskin hat and I cried "They had to kill two animals to make this!!" And she felt so bad because she was the one that sent me a subscription to Wildlife magazine for kids. She's like "I should have known I had made her an animal lover." I never ever wore it but it's been the butt of jokes for years!
- When and how did you learn the truth about Santa? I learned when I was five years old Christmas morning, because we had secretly found a bike for me hidden in the garage behind big sheet boards and kept quiet about it thinking it was for my birthday or Christmas from my parents. But Christmas morning there was a tag on it saying it was from Santa. And I was like "this isn't from Santa it was in the garage two weeks ago!" My parents tried to cover it up by saying Santa hid it there because there's only so much room on his sleigh but I knew the jig was up. My mom felt very guilty for a few years that they didn't think of a better hiding spot or that they didn't keep it at a neighbors house or something.
- Do you open a gift on Christmas Eve? We open one gift on the eve (after church) and then the rest in the morning. For some reason, my mother always insisted that the gift had to be from someone who wasn't there (the coonskin cap was one...it was squishy so I really thought it was going to be a stuffed animal. I was so upset they let me open one more that year LOL. Only year I was able to open two.)
- How do you decorate your Christmas tree? My mom gives us an ornament every year. Jeff's family didn't do this, So our tree is covered with all of my ornaments and the one's Jeff's gotten from my mom the last four years. And we have three ornaments that are joint ornaments. But most are my penguin collection (like 28 out of 50 or something).
- Snow! Love it or dread it? Growing up in Chicago - I have a love/hate relationship. I love the first snowfall over a few inches! But then by mid January I'm like "I am so over this crap!" But last year we didn't even get snow until mid January and so far this year - none. It just doesn't feel like winter or Christmas yet. Really hope we have at least a little bit of snow before the holiday hits.
- Can you ice skate? Yes, but not very well and I have not in years. When I was a kid, since my birthday is a week before Christmas my mother made me do this for my birthday outing with friends for like four years in a row (I think because it was easier than having a house full of kids). So I grew to hate having a winter birthday and limited choices. If I ever have a winter baby I will make sure I come up with fun ideas and never push my child into something they don't like. (((Rant over)))
- Do you remember your favorite gift? Honestly? No I don't. I've had several gifts that toughed me or were creative. But nothing stands out as "the best!"
- What’s the most important thing about the holidays for you? Spending time with family. I see mine only once a year and for Christmas it's only every other year so it's very special for me. But even when it's Jeff's families year for Christmas I love seeing everyone together and picking out perfect gifts for everyone.
- What is your favorite holiday dessert? Since I can't have much sugar (but I can be a bad girl esp. during the holidays) I have to stick with the Kringle or my birthday cake (which I know is not a holiday dessert but for me it kinda is...)
- What is your favorite holiday tradition? For my family, it's putting on the album "John Denver and the Muppets" Christmas CD while decorating the tree. For Jeff's family - it's going to the tree farm to pick out his parents tree and getting the fresh cinnamon doughnuts.
- What tops your tree? Our tree has a glass ornament that broke the year I got my first tree as an adult. I didn't have a topper so I stuck it on top because then you don't realize the bottom is actually broke. It's a totem pole of three penguins with Santa hats on. And since my tree is so penguin-centric it really fits. But I have a feeling once we have a little one, Jeff and I should get a star or angel to go on top to represent his religion better. For now, he humors me.
- Which do you prefer giving or receiving? Can't it be both?? I love picking out the perfect gift. I spent hours scouring the internet (and sshhh! I think I found Jeff something awesome! His favorite book is the Dark Tower series from Stephan King but there is almost nothing on the internet except for the book...but after much searching I found t shirts by an artist on a site called redbubble. He will LOVE it! The rest of his gifts are just OK but this is so specific to HIM) But I also love gifts for me when they're well thought out. Most of what I get is stuff I've asked for, so when someone puts their own thoughts into it based on who I am really touches me.
- Candy Canes: Yuck or Yum? Eh, I usually have one a year. Not much of a fan but again it's because I really shouldn't have then and didn't as a watched over child.
- Favorite Christmas show? Movie? Tie between National Lampoons Christmas Vacation and Bill Murray's Scrooged.
- Saddest Christmas song? I guess Elvis' "Blue Christmas"
- What is your favorite Christmas song? Brenda Lee's "Rockin Around the Christmas Tree" and the Muppet's "Little Saint Nick" (with Dr. Teeth and Animal being the main characters singing the song LOL)
Wednesday, November 21, 2012
Ridiculousness - Stop yourself!
So there are several phrases that Jeff uses often that living together in marital bliss I've picked up over the past five years of living together. One of them is "Stop yourself". He says it when someone starts getting a little ridiculous. Example: If I tell him I'm dying from being tickled, I get this response.
Well, right now I feel the world is being a little ridiculous. Sadly, he again got passed over for a well deserved promotion for someone less qualified. I don't know if it's that he comes off as egotistical in interviews or that since he's doing the work of four people making him too valuable to loose that is behind it. But seriously people - stop yourself. Realize that my man is the smartest person I've ever frinkin' met. If sometimes he comes off a little egotistical or smug it's because he's got a right to be. Because he's amazing!
Then there's my company. Tar.get. Opening at 9pm on Thanksgiving?!? STOP YOURSELF! You call yourself a "community focused company"? Then act like it! Let families in our community spend the holiday with their family's not filling their evening either working or standing in the cold to get a deal they could have gotten Friday if you'd opened on Friday like years past. When did black Friday become Thursday? (*answer two years ago when other retailers started doing this*) Don't be a follower. Be a leader. Lead the industry back to responsible practices. Now, thankfully I don't have to work it until noon on Friday, but damnit it's the frickin' principle. Just because I lucked out on scheduling doesn't mean the 100 workers at my store that will be there at 8pm in prep of doors opening will not be missing out.
And of course, the ridiculousness that is IF. Causing several of my eFriends heartache from not being able to become parents and making the holiday season filled with tears instead of happiness as the holidays should be. Stop Yourself!! Come on Universe, you owe us! We've been given the shitty hand long enough. Can you deal us into the game without the loaded deck of crap? We've been playing at this table long enough that statistically you'd think we'd get a winning hand at some point! I hate to see my girls (and my heart) breaking for something that is supposed to be so damn simple.
But tomorrow is Thanksgiving...so let me take a few minutes from my rant to remember what I am thankful for. My husband; as I've already stated is amazing. I can't begin to describe the wonderfulness of him. Doing dishes, laundry, etc is sweet - especially when I'm working. Making me laugh every single day with his jokes and tickle-fests makes me appreciate every day with him. But how much he cares for me when I'm sick, sad or in pain is what really shows his love for me. I take for granted the little things sometimes until he does something big...and I try not to do that. I love every moment with him.
My family. Even my in laws. I am lucky to have such a wonderful group to call family. They truely love me for who I am. And we have almost no drama. I am blessed to have such a calm support system and can't explain how much they mean to me in words.
And my close friends. To me, they are family too. I have as many (if not more) picture of them in frames around my house because while we may not see each other as much anymore seeing their smiling faces brings me peace. And I feel loved.
My eFriends - you girls really are my strength in the world of IF and even just in the arena of being a married woman. It's amazing how busy life gets that I am happy to connect to the world this way. Different perspective from around the country, hell around the globe brings me back to remembering that as a human race we have so much more in common that differences. It may be sappy, but it's strengthens my belief in humanity. Thank you.
And finally, my health and job. While I might yell and curse you both sometimes....I am reminded to be thankful for you both. This past year of learning of friends, eFriends, and family dealing with poor health and job losses has made a lump in my stomach that doesn't ever go away. I hope that while nothing I do is enough, that the small comforts I can provide them with a hug, words of encouragement, or just being there as someone to listen helps them even a little. I am so thankful that you're all here, and hope for improvements in the year to come.
Well, right now I feel the world is being a little ridiculous. Sadly, he again got passed over for a well deserved promotion for someone less qualified. I don't know if it's that he comes off as egotistical in interviews or that since he's doing the work of four people making him too valuable to loose that is behind it. But seriously people - stop yourself. Realize that my man is the smartest person I've ever frinkin' met. If sometimes he comes off a little egotistical or smug it's because he's got a right to be. Because he's amazing!
Then there's my company. Tar.get. Opening at 9pm on Thanksgiving?!? STOP YOURSELF! You call yourself a "community focused company"? Then act like it! Let families in our community spend the holiday with their family's not filling their evening either working or standing in the cold to get a deal they could have gotten Friday if you'd opened on Friday like years past. When did black Friday become Thursday? (*answer two years ago when other retailers started doing this*) Don't be a follower. Be a leader. Lead the industry back to responsible practices. Now, thankfully I don't have to work it until noon on Friday, but damnit it's the frickin' principle. Just because I lucked out on scheduling doesn't mean the 100 workers at my store that will be there at 8pm in prep of doors opening will not be missing out.
And of course, the ridiculousness that is IF. Causing several of my eFriends heartache from not being able to become parents and making the holiday season filled with tears instead of happiness as the holidays should be. Stop Yourself!! Come on Universe, you owe us! We've been given the shitty hand long enough. Can you deal us into the game without the loaded deck of crap? We've been playing at this table long enough that statistically you'd think we'd get a winning hand at some point! I hate to see my girls (and my heart) breaking for something that is supposed to be so damn simple.
But tomorrow is Thanksgiving...so let me take a few minutes from my rant to remember what I am thankful for. My husband; as I've already stated is amazing. I can't begin to describe the wonderfulness of him. Doing dishes, laundry, etc is sweet - especially when I'm working. Making me laugh every single day with his jokes and tickle-fests makes me appreciate every day with him. But how much he cares for me when I'm sick, sad or in pain is what really shows his love for me. I take for granted the little things sometimes until he does something big...and I try not to do that. I love every moment with him.
My family. Even my in laws. I am lucky to have such a wonderful group to call family. They truely love me for who I am. And we have almost no drama. I am blessed to have such a calm support system and can't explain how much they mean to me in words.
And my close friends. To me, they are family too. I have as many (if not more) picture of them in frames around my house because while we may not see each other as much anymore seeing their smiling faces brings me peace. And I feel loved.
My eFriends - you girls really are my strength in the world of IF and even just in the arena of being a married woman. It's amazing how busy life gets that I am happy to connect to the world this way. Different perspective from around the country, hell around the globe brings me back to remembering that as a human race we have so much more in common that differences. It may be sappy, but it's strengthens my belief in humanity. Thank you.
And finally, my health and job. While I might yell and curse you both sometimes....I am reminded to be thankful for you both. This past year of learning of friends, eFriends, and family dealing with poor health and job losses has made a lump in my stomach that doesn't ever go away. I hope that while nothing I do is enough, that the small comforts I can provide them with a hug, words of encouragement, or just being there as someone to listen helps them even a little. I am so thankful that you're all here, and hope for improvements in the year to come.
Monday, October 22, 2012
Vegas Trip ... a look back
So Jeff and I flew off to Vegas the day after his birthday. It was so nice to have 3 days off work (Fri, Sat and most of Sunday) before catching the evening flight out. The house was clean and laundry done before we left and plenty of time to lay around and relax and enjoy his birthday before vaca.
Our flight out of Rockford was an hour delayed but funny because it was our first time not flying out of O'Hare. Rockford is very tiny and we called it the Home depot airport because honestly it's smaller than your average Home Depot. And the "international" terminal I named the Feed Store because it was a metal shed really. But anyways...we landed in Vegas and got to our hotel about 11:30 Vegas time. So we spent the next three hours just in our casino (Bally's) and the casino attached (Paris) before finally getting to sleep around 3am.
Waking up at 8am we hit the ground running. We went for a quick buffet breakfast and decided to venture into just the middle part of the strip since we were staying there and had plans for lunch at Cesear's. So we hit Bill's Gambling Hall and Casino, the Flamingo, Bellagio's, Cesear's and the Mirage. In the middle of the day as planned we headed to Mesa Grill in Cesear's....this is Bobby Flay's restaurant. If you watch the food network at all or the Today show you know who Bobby is.
OMG I can not describe how delicious this meal was. I had high hopes and it certainly delivered. The best of the entire meal was the appetizer we shared. I had decided before going there that I wanted the smoked chicken and black bean quesadilla's with avocado and creme fraische. I swear to God, I almost had an orgasm it was that good. Then for the main dish I had a cornmeal encrusted Chilie Relleno with manchengo cheese. And of course, a Margarita for a drink. All so delish!!
For the evening we just stayed close to "home" in Bally's and Paris again and I went to bed at 2am but slept only until 7am. I wondered if 5 hours is the magic number of hours of sleep in Vegas.
We walked past the fountain pond (no fountains during the day) at Bellagio and went into the "newer" Cosmopolitan. It really looks in there like Carry Bradshaw was the designer. I was afraid it was a snootier, younger, hipper place (from their ads) but thankfully at 9am we fit in fine. Did see a few girls doing the walk of shame into the hotel hahahaha. Jeff and I walked out of there up a little but then headed to the Aria where I then proceeded to lose it but Jeff continued to win. So we moved on to the Monte Carlo, and then New York, New York. We held our own and had some fun but were on a mission to make it the whole south strip so walked on to Excalibur and Luxor - again to gain and lose a little. Finally we got to the last casino on the west side of the street....Mandalay Bay where we decided to play a little before heading to that day's destination Minus 5 (more on this soon). It was a great place to play for me, because Jeff decided he wanted to play at one of those big Wheel of Fortune games and I won $200! Woohoo. And this is when I decided we'd buy a picture when we went to Minus 5.
Now, before we had left - for months, Jeff has been playing a facebook game called "My Vegas" where you earn points playing a game for free that you can then change into real activities in Vegas. He had earned enough points for one free entry and two free drinks at the ice bar Minus Five. So we went to redeem it only to realize we had left the code for his points in the hotel room (Noooooo!) but they were able to find them at the rewards booth and gave us a voucher for $70. ((More than he had earned! He'd only earned $54)) So we headed to the Bar that's in the mall just outside the casino. They had never seen that voucher before but said they'd honor it and even did a little better...they gave us two free entries and four free drinks ($74 plus tax value). Sweet! So we got into the Ugg-like boots, gloves and calf length parka (with our legs bar from wearing shorts in the warm 88 degree Vegas weather).
Inside Minus 5 is amazing! Everything is made of ice (except the floor). Even the chandeliers that look like glass are ice. As well as the bar, the benches (which are covered with faux fur pelts) and all the carvings inside. There was a woman's bust (her actual bust, not artsy like a bust of the head) that was an ice sculptor for getting shots out of her nipples. Even the glass you're drinking out of is made of ice. This is why it's a vodka bar since it will not freeze at 31 degrees Fahrenheit (minus five Celsius, thus the name). We posed for three pictures and had our two drinks each - one of which I really want to really want to recreate. It's called a Snowflake. It has mango flavored vodka, pineapple and orange juice. YUMMY! But two drinks is all you really want to be in there. Because while there is no wind or moisture, it still starts to feel a little cold after half an hour (at least on the bare legs).
Afterwards we picked the one picture we wanted to pay for and I stole the other two by using my camera phone and the internet. I really love the one we bought and don't care that the other two are not as great quality from photographing a computer screen. So please ignore the "do not copy" as I just really want to show off the bar and one sculpture.
After than we went to the east side of the street and hit the Tropicana and the MGM Grand. I don't remember much about them...but then I was a bit day-side drunk at this point LOL. I remember the Trop as being rather plain. To end a long day we hit Jeff's fav burger joint in the world for diner: Fat Burger! For a little grease to soak up the alcohol. We got back to Bally's/Paris where I decided at 8:45 I had enough. Went upstairs and soaked my legs in a hot bath, and watched TV until 11pm when I finally went to sleep for seven hours!!!...but Jeff had stayed up later than I so I had plenty of time to shower, do the hair and makeup, check up on facebook and my bump girls before heading out for a full day on the north side.
So Wednesday we headed out for another full day... we hit McDonalds for breakfast and stopped in Casino Royal, The Venetian, Wynn, and Encore. While at the Venetian, I convinced Jeff that since I got to have the best meal of my life we should stop at Emeril Laggase's restaurant for him to repeat what he said was his best...the Lobster Bisque soup he had at a friend's bachelor party over four years ago. We decided because of cost to just share and app and have the soup instead of a "full meal" there. And it did deliver on OMG status...but not better than Bobby IMHO. Next up? Riviera (where we tried to find the escalator they use in both Rainman and Hangover part 1) only to not find it.This is the only escalator we found...it must be hidden somewhere because I swear we looked everywhere. So we crossed the street and hit "Slots o' Fun" and quickly walked into Circus Circus and decided it was not our kind of place (a dump) but caught a cab out to Rio (off the strip) to play for a few hours and get Day side drunk again off vodka cranberry's. We again decided grease to soak up the alcohol was the route to go and ate at the Burger King inside and then headed back to our hotel on the free shuttle.
Since we were doing so well maintaining our bank (Up, down, even)...we decided to spend the night casino hoping in our little area but first I insisted on seeing the nightly fountain at Bellagio. Amazing that water set to song would be so mesmerizing. Then spent most of the night at Cesears. Getting six hours sleep and catching breakfast - we only had an hour and a half to play before our shuttle took us back to the airport and home to reality. We took $200 and played....and thank God we didn't hit that massive losing streak until that last day because I've never seen $125 go so quickly! But leaving with some money in our pockets, and money in our account we had designated as "Vgas money" felt like a WIN to me. We had so much fun!
Our flight out of Rockford was an hour delayed but funny because it was our first time not flying out of O'Hare. Rockford is very tiny and we called it the Home depot airport because honestly it's smaller than your average Home Depot. And the "international" terminal I named the Feed Store because it was a metal shed really. But anyways...we landed in Vegas and got to our hotel about 11:30 Vegas time. So we spent the next three hours just in our casino (Bally's) and the casino attached (Paris) before finally getting to sleep around 3am.
Waking up at 8am we hit the ground running. We went for a quick buffet breakfast and decided to venture into just the middle part of the strip since we were staying there and had plans for lunch at Cesear's. So we hit Bill's Gambling Hall and Casino, the Flamingo, Bellagio's, Cesear's and the Mirage. In the middle of the day as planned we headed to Mesa Grill in Cesear's....this is Bobby Flay's restaurant. If you watch the food network at all or the Today show you know who Bobby is. 
OMG I can not describe how delicious this meal was. I had high hopes and it certainly delivered. The best of the entire meal was the appetizer we shared. I had decided before going there that I wanted the smoked chicken and black bean quesadilla's with avocado and creme fraische. I swear to God, I almost had an orgasm it was that good. Then for the main dish I had a cornmeal encrusted Chilie Relleno with manchengo cheese. And of course, a Margarita for a drink. All so delish!! For the evening we just stayed close to "home" in Bally's and Paris again and I went to bed at 2am but slept only until 7am. I wondered if 5 hours is the magic number of hours of sleep in Vegas.
We walked past the fountain pond (no fountains during the day) at Bellagio and went into the "newer" Cosmopolitan. It really looks in there like Carry Bradshaw was the designer. I was afraid it was a snootier, younger, hipper place (from their ads) but thankfully at 9am we fit in fine. Did see a few girls doing the walk of shame into the hotel hahahaha. Jeff and I walked out of there up a little but then headed to the Aria where I then proceeded to lose it but Jeff continued to win. So we moved on to the Monte Carlo, and then New York, New York. We held our own and had some fun but were on a mission to make it the whole south strip so walked on to Excalibur and Luxor - again to gain and lose a little. Finally we got to the last casino on the west side of the street....Mandalay Bay where we decided to play a little before heading to that day's destination Minus 5 (more on this soon). It was a great place to play for me, because Jeff decided he wanted to play at one of those big Wheel of Fortune games and I won $200! Woohoo. And this is when I decided we'd buy a picture when we went to Minus 5.
Now, before we had left - for months, Jeff has been playing a facebook game called "My Vegas" where you earn points playing a game for free that you can then change into real activities in Vegas. He had earned enough points for one free entry and two free drinks at the ice bar Minus Five. So we went to redeem it only to realize we had left the code for his points in the hotel room (Noooooo!) but they were able to find them at the rewards booth and gave us a voucher for $70. ((More than he had earned! He'd only earned $54)) So we headed to the Bar that's in the mall just outside the casino. They had never seen that voucher before but said they'd honor it and even did a little better...they gave us two free entries and four free drinks ($74 plus tax value). Sweet! So we got into the Ugg-like boots, gloves and calf length parka (with our legs bar from wearing shorts in the warm 88 degree Vegas weather). Inside Minus 5 is amazing! Everything is made of ice (except the floor). Even the chandeliers that look like glass are ice. As well as the bar, the benches (which are covered with faux fur pelts) and all the carvings inside. There was a woman's bust (her actual bust, not artsy like a bust of the head) that was an ice sculptor for getting shots out of her nipples. Even the glass you're drinking out of is made of ice. This is why it's a vodka bar since it will not freeze at 31 degrees Fahrenheit (minus five Celsius, thus the name). We posed for three pictures and had our two drinks each - one of which I really want to really want to recreate. It's called a Snowflake. It has mango flavored vodka, pineapple and orange juice. YUMMY! But two drinks is all you really want to be in there. Because while there is no wind or moisture, it still starts to feel a little cold after half an hour (at least on the bare legs).
Afterwards we picked the one picture we wanted to pay for and I stole the other two by using my camera phone and the internet. I really love the one we bought and don't care that the other two are not as great quality from photographing a computer screen. So please ignore the "do not copy" as I just really want to show off the bar and one sculpture.
After than we went to the east side of the street and hit the Tropicana and the MGM Grand. I don't remember much about them...but then I was a bit day-side drunk at this point LOL. I remember the Trop as being rather plain. To end a long day we hit Jeff's fav burger joint in the world for diner: Fat Burger! For a little grease to soak up the alcohol. We got back to Bally's/Paris where I decided at 8:45 I had enough. Went upstairs and soaked my legs in a hot bath, and watched TV until 11pm when I finally went to sleep for seven hours!!!...but Jeff had stayed up later than I so I had plenty of time to shower, do the hair and makeup, check up on facebook and my bump girls before heading out for a full day on the north side.
So Wednesday we headed out for another full day... we hit McDonalds for breakfast and stopped in Casino Royal, The Venetian, Wynn, and Encore. While at the Venetian, I convinced Jeff that since I got to have the best meal of my life we should stop at Emeril Laggase's restaurant for him to repeat what he said was his best...the Lobster Bisque soup he had at a friend's bachelor party over four years ago. We decided because of cost to just share and app and have the soup instead of a "full meal" there. And it did deliver on OMG status...but not better than Bobby IMHO. Next up? Riviera (where we tried to find the escalator they use in both Rainman and Hangover part 1) only to not find it.This is the only escalator we found...it must be hidden somewhere because I swear we looked everywhere. So we crossed the street and hit "Slots o' Fun" and quickly walked into Circus Circus and decided it was not our kind of place (a dump) but caught a cab out to Rio (off the strip) to play for a few hours and get Day side drunk again off vodka cranberry's. We again decided grease to soak up the alcohol was the route to go and ate at the Burger King inside and then headed back to our hotel on the free shuttle. 
Since we were doing so well maintaining our bank (Up, down, even)...we decided to spend the night casino hoping in our little area but first I insisted on seeing the nightly fountain at Bellagio. Amazing that water set to song would be so mesmerizing. Then spent most of the night at Cesears. Getting six hours sleep and catching breakfast - we only had an hour and a half to play before our shuttle took us back to the airport and home to reality. We took $200 and played....and thank God we didn't hit that massive losing streak until that last day because I've never seen $125 go so quickly! But leaving with some money in our pockets, and money in our account we had designated as "Vgas money" felt like a WIN to me. We had so much fun!
Friday, September 28, 2012
Hello back pain my old friend...you've come to give me pain again
So I went to the OB this morning for my not-so-annual pap. I honestly don't remember when the last one was. I had to have one before my IUIs started and since they reminded me that I need to have one that is less than a year and a half old to do one so I can't move forward without it. Since they reminded me this in the spring; I assume it's been a good two years. Oops. I never went more than 13 months before facing IF without my annual, but it's like - hey I have a doctor in my crotch every few months, why bother?
Well with my one wacky-ass cycle and being six days late I decided fine. Get the pap. If all the HPTs are neg then this will bring it on (either by jinx and I'll have to cancel the appointment or by the scrapping of the cervix saying "wake up in there!"). And if while I'm there I give her my five theories and ask for a beta, p4, and thyroid scan and find out what those spots on my thigh are- all the better. AND while I'm getting my blood draw take a few extra tubes for those required one's that yet again need to be done since it's been over 18 months since our first IUI (really just rubbing salt in the wound that we've been doing treatments for almost two years come this spring). Yep, once again I get to have STD tests to prove I'm not cheating on my husband LOL. We both joked if one of us comes back positive then 'Lucy, you gots some 'splaining to do!'
The bad thing about having an OB do these and not my RE? Can't get results until tomorrow. But looks as if I won't need the darn results because a few hours ago I started spotting and now the lower back pain hell has begun. Here come the sneaky period ninjas to do battle. The silver lining to all of this? Now I won't have them join us on the end of our vaca in 16 days. Woohoo! But seriously?!?! A 32 cycle for me? Six days longer than over 40 of my cycles? It's a statistical anomaly people!! It's enough to drive this cray-cray girl back to temping if my predictable of predictables is no longer predictable!
Thankfully she told me the spots on my thigh, just ingrown hairs. She recommended a warm bath every day. HA! I had to inform this woman that me and my bath are close friends. I take a bath at least five times a week, and on a rare occasion twice in one day. She said 3 times a day. First off, for me that's three hours of my day because I take long soaks. She then said just warm compress will do. Darn, I was really hoping for medically prescribed prune hands.
So to end this long dribble...I expect all normal info to come tomorrow from my tests. And a large drink in my hands tomorrow night to ring in the next cycle and drown those period ninjas.
Well with my one wacky-ass cycle and being six days late I decided fine. Get the pap. If all the HPTs are neg then this will bring it on (either by jinx and I'll have to cancel the appointment or by the scrapping of the cervix saying "wake up in there!"). And if while I'm there I give her my five theories and ask for a beta, p4, and thyroid scan and find out what those spots on my thigh are- all the better. AND while I'm getting my blood draw take a few extra tubes for those required one's that yet again need to be done since it's been over 18 months since our first IUI (really just rubbing salt in the wound that we've been doing treatments for almost two years come this spring). Yep, once again I get to have STD tests to prove I'm not cheating on my husband LOL. We both joked if one of us comes back positive then 'Lucy, you gots some 'splaining to do!'
The bad thing about having an OB do these and not my RE? Can't get results until tomorrow. But looks as if I won't need the darn results because a few hours ago I started spotting and now the lower back pain hell has begun. Here come the sneaky period ninjas to do battle. The silver lining to all of this? Now I won't have them join us on the end of our vaca in 16 days. Woohoo! But seriously?!?! A 32 cycle for me? Six days longer than over 40 of my cycles? It's a statistical anomaly people!! It's enough to drive this cray-cray girl back to temping if my predictable of predictables is no longer predictable!
Thankfully she told me the spots on my thigh, just ingrown hairs. She recommended a warm bath every day. HA! I had to inform this woman that me and my bath are close friends. I take a bath at least five times a week, and on a rare occasion twice in one day. She said 3 times a day. First off, for me that's three hours of my day because I take long soaks. She then said just warm compress will do. Darn, I was really hoping for medically prescribed prune hands.
So to end this long dribble...I expect all normal info to come tomorrow from my tests. And a large drink in my hands tomorrow night to ring in the next cycle and drown those period ninjas.
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