Well this just sucks!

So IUI #2 was this morning. Last time, DH had 70 million pre wash in 1.5ml (46mil/ml). The post wash was 9mil with 3 mil motile. This time there was only 13 million pre wash in 1.5ml. So 9 mil/ml pre wash. This ended up one million total post wash and half million motile. WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED?!?!?! I know we have a MFI dx and that the first SA was only 19mil/ml but I really thought we had that part behind us. I thought the vitamins were our miracle answer and that coupled with IUI would be our ticket out of IF world.
The nurse told me the TMS was 500,000 before she even stuck the cath in, so I was feeling defeated before we even had the IUI. I have felt like crying ever since. But I don't want DH to feel bad so I'm trying to be OK with it. But he did have to hear me say "I don't understand!!" when I got home and was comparing the analysis side by side. We both think it might be because there was the hour time line from having to go to a further away location than our normal clinic that is just eight minutes away. Also there was that one month when we forgot to reorder DH's vitamin's and didn't have the $$ after Christmas for it but that was four months ago so we thought all would be OK.
I'm just so mad at the universe right now. Yes I know it only takes one but since we have not had one make it in 26 other cycles I'm kind of like "why would it work now with such a low count?" And yes I know I should try and be positive - and I will. Later. Right now it's like I need to have my day to wallow in self pity. MOTHER FUCKER!