Childfree does not equal selfish!

So on Facebook I follow STFU Parents.  It's great humor in this world of "overshare".  And often, on FB she links to interesting articles that I might not come across myself.  Moments ago she linked to this:

http://fullcomment.nationalpost.com/2012/09/19/joe-oconnor-selfishness-behind-growing-trend-for-couples-to-not-have-children/

It is an article that discusses the latest census in Canada that there are more child free couple households than there are of households with children.  And the writer goes on to say this is selfish.  And who will take care of those without children when they are old.

He doesn't mention the fact that the baby boomer generation is the largest generation and all of their kids are now grown, so they are lumped into the child free home.  He does however call people without children selfish.  And this is what boils my blood.  Clearly as someone fighting with everything I've got to have children, I would be counted as a childfree household.  This is not by choice, this is life of an infertile.  I couldn't help but comment.  Here is what I wrote under the pseudonym "Infertile Voice":

"Because of social norms and careers, getting married older (30's instead of 20's) is now more the norm. Which caused more chance for age related infertility to be in play. Dealing with infertility in my mid 30's makes the time frame for treatment shorter than if I had met the man of my dreams and married at 24. 

If nothing comes of treatment after 5 years we will be child free for the rest of our lives. This is not selfish! We have spent thousands of dollars to have the joy of being parents. As a society dealing with this scenario more, obviously the rate of couples with children goes down. Just because this isn't the 1950's anymore with Suzie-Homemaker having kids by 25, does not mean that everyone is making this choice. Sometimes the choice is made for you."

But also what really bugged me is the insinuation that people that are in a couple should have children whether they want to or not.  Do we want children to be brought up by those who didn't want them?!  There are enough unwanted kids in the world looking to be adopted.  And knowing you don't want kids, while maybe not socially accepted on the whole, is something I've embraced of friends.  I have a friend that said she never wanted children.  Fine.  While I may not understand it fully, it's her right to have that choice.  I've had a friend that thought that, and later changed her mind.  And from my IF community I have friends that have been through the hell of the IF roller coaster and decided to get off and live Child free.  And then here we sit...still in the middle of the fog of infertility hope - but finally seeing an end in sight.  We either have success with treatments in the next two years or we won't and live child free.  And while there are some benefits to this life, it will by no means be what I had wanted as a little girl.  But selfish? No.  Self sustaining.  I would not be able to keep going with the emotional hell that IF puts you under for 8, 10, 12 years.

Oh, and thanks writer for ending the article with the one fear that haunts me.  Who will take care of me when I'm old.  There are nursing homes for that, that is not why I want to have kids.  But nursing homes don't love you.  I do not want to face the end of this world alone without love.  And now you've sucked me down into another bad infertility day.  Fuck You and your sanctimonious dribble.