The day after ER

So 24 hours later I am not as sore but it still hurts to cough, sneeze, pee or laugh.  And my tongue is stained red from the 80oz. of Fruit Punch gatorade to keep OHSS at bay.  I did send Jeff off to work though, feeling well enough to take care of myself.

So first let me tackle the actual day of ER.  Jeff and I agreed to leave at 6:15am, thinking well it normally take about 50-55min to get there on the weekend, Rush hour will add about 20 minutes.  PLUS we'll take a different route that is more of a "back way" instead of the main road.  UGH - mistake!!  Because we don't know the back way well we didn't even know how close we were when we were sitting in bumper to bumper traffic.  By checking on my phone when we only had 20 minutes until appointment time (7:30) I realized yep, we're going to be late.  Que stomach flip flopping and massive nerves.  Finally at 7:30 I realize we're only about five miles away - we'll be very close to our check in time, only a few minutes late.  And then traffic just stopped. At 7:40 they called to see what happened to us and I explain we're in horrific traffic just one mile away. (I actually think of how much faster I'd get there if I just got out of the car and walk.) I feel much better when she says "We figured, just get here safely."

7:45 enter office, get signed in, get changed into gown and hair net.  Get weighed and told to pee one last time.  8:10 Jeff gets taken to the "husband room" for his contribution.  8:40 They come to get me from our little room.  There is no TV in the little room, just a medical recliner for me and a chair for Jeff but he plays Candy Crush on his phone as I go off for retrieval LOL.  It's amazing the amount of people they have in this little room - it's me, the anesthesiologist, the U/S tech, and two nurses.  I get my IV set up and they say the embryologist will confirm my name before giving me the juice.  RE walks in and they knock on the Embryologist door, she peaks her head out and I state my name and birthday and then they say I'm getting the drugs.  I remember them saying "We're gonna record all the funny things you say."   And I say "No!!  But when I had my breast reduction I do remember I tried to sell my surgeon television advertising."  Boom next thing I'm asleep.  It takes about 20 minutes for the ER and a few minutes later they're saying "Wake up Kati" and help me into a wheelchair to bring me back to Jeff.  The pain was intense so they gave me two tylenol, then some drug of who knows what in my IV and a heating pad.  Plus a ginger ale and some crackers.  After about half an hour I was given my instructions and asked if I could see Dr. Jacobs since I hadn't really talked to him except to say hello.

He comes by and I ask the main question I've been wondering "When do we decide if it's a freeze-all?"  And he says "Oh it is a freeze all."  And I said "But what if - and I'm trying to think positively here- but what if they're not looking good on day three or five and you think they may not make it to freeze?"  And he matter of factly says "If they're not good enough to freeze, they're most likely not good enough to survive anyway".  Ummm - ok?  First - that was a bit harsh, what happened to his kind bedside manner I've seen?  Second, I know that's not true - I've seen plenty of gals on the boards with morula 4 cell three day transfers that were worried and ended up pregnant.  But I know that he is just trying to give us the best chance, and with my progesterone levels he's probably right.  Because those with lower grade embryos didn't have hormone levels out of whack but it was sobering to hear - this really is it.  If none make it to freeze, our journey to be parents has ended.  No pressure.   HOLY FUCKING SHIT!

So now I sit...it's 8am.  They'll call later today to tell me how many of those 13 are mature.  And how many of those mature eggs fertilized and are growing.  It's so odd to just think of what is going on in that little room out in Highland Park.  Our possible future child/ren.  My paperwork says they can call anytime in the day until 6pm.  Please don't make me wait that long to hear what's going on!  This first hour of being awake it's all I can think about.