My pain become physical...

So I don't know why I'm always surprised.  This has happened before in life - just not in this fashion.

First let me back up for a little explanation.
Back when I was 24 (OMG was that really 12 years ago?!) I was working for CBS in Cedar Rapids (KGAN TV) and was such an amazing sales person in just one year on the job, that when my boss got hired away to a bigger market, he secretly started talks with me, flew me out for interviews, and got me hired at the NBC station in Charleston, WV (WSAZ).  The problem was he had a clause that he couldn't hire anyone away for six months.  So I knew two months before giving notice, that I was quitting.  As time came closer, he informed me that since my first day of work was just a few days past that - he wanted me to not tell the truth as to why I was resigning.  Everyone figured it out, but legally to keep him from getting sued I had to lie (why did I not worry if I would be sued or not? IDK)  What I do know is the week leading up to resigning - I suffered neck pain, that got so bad I could not even turn my head without severe pain.  I tried everything: pain killers, massage therapy, even a chiropractor.  It was the stress.  I know that.  But admittedly, it was a trigger spot from a very old injury.  And this happens to me from time to time with sometimes no noticeable stress.  BUT more often than not, when it does happen it's from stress.  Can't find a job?  Learn dad has had a small heart attack?  Money problems?  Yep here comes that old familiar pain.

What I didn't expect was a whole new location of my stress to stab at me.

So, you know I had a UTI at the very end of the failed IVF cycle.  OK, another fun thing I get fairly often (probably 12 times in last 15 or so years?)  But I took the seven days worth of antibiotics and thought "I'm finally done with it!"  Happy to be done with both the period that was an hourly reminder I failed as a woman, the UTI meds, etc I was looking forward to - ahem reconnecting with my husband in a physical manner.  And it was either that or vigorously cleaning our master bath after it had been ignored of cleaning for three weeks (gross I know but really in an IVF cycle it's the one chore that seems to take a back seat through the bloated body).  Did those things both on Tuesday.

Wednesday woke up thinking I pulled a muscle on my left side, just below my ribs.  As the day went on however, the pain kept getting worse and worse.  So of course, I doctor googled.  And since I had just finished the meds one thing popped out at me - kidney infection or kidney stones.  While they usually come with other symptoms, they can also have none but back/side pain and happen after UTI.  Brain started swirling.  But I went about my day anyway, just moaning or saying "ouch" an awful lot.

But then I only got about 4 hours sleep that night and the pain was excruciating so I insisted Jeff take me to the emergency room yesterday at 5:30am.  ((PS Great timing in my area, because there was no one there and we had what I believe to be very quick service for an ER).  I was there a total of three hours, got an IV, blood drawn, and a CAT scan and results all in those three hours only to learn - no you hypochondriac  - it's just severely pulled muscle. Seriously?  It can hurt that bad?!  Well I feel stupid for going to the ER, but now, over 36 hours on muscle relaxers and pain meds....it still fucking hurts!  Sure it takes the edge off the pain but OMG when will it go away?  And man does this make me feel old (and fat) and in need to get in better shape to strengthen my intercostal muscles if this is how they fail me!  It hurts to sneeze, cough, walk, yawn, or even take in a really really deep breath!  GO AWAY PAIN!  As if I hadn't started to go stir crazy from "couch rest" from egg retrieval and egg transfer, I get several more days now hanging here with my meds and heating pad.  I have a good book, but joke that being loopy from these drugs I'm afraid I won't remember what I'm reading!